Tokyo Ghoul Re:Concile - an AU
by Dromear-CMBadiuk
Summary: *Anime and Manga Changes Contained* Kaneki, Amon, and the rest of TG's beloved characters are thrown into chaos as a new piece enters the playing field. The war with Aogiri Tree may have come to a bloody end, but a worse war is only beginning.
1. Prologue - 2018

KANEKI

He coughed up blood and sludge, panting as air filled his lungs again. Tears and festering water mixed with mould clung to his face. His eyes shot open, and a dim flicker of light illuminated his surroundings: stark concrete walls, curved into almost perfect cylinders. _Where am I? How'd I get here?_ Glancing around, Kaneki deduced he'd retreated to the underground 24th Ward. _I forgot how much it reeks down here..._ He shakily found the strength to stand. As he rose to his feet, a sharp pain jabbed at his side. And what was worse, the voices in his head wouldn't shut up. He feared, as he had many times before, the voices never would stop. Because of them, he'd always have company, but still be so alone at the same time. If this wasn't Hell, he wasn't sure how different the real thing could be from this. So many people seemed worse off because of him. He'd caused a lot of trouble in Tokyo for being one person. _But where in Tokyo am I? What's above me? More importantly, how did I get down here?_

A thought flashed through Kaneki's mind. Koutarou, that CCG investigator, standing across from him in the street, quinque ready. Kaneki didn't want to fight. So, he didn't. He turned away from that battle. The Dove made the first move anyway. _What did I do then?_ The next moment stood in his mind as a blur. Did the Dove die? He hoped not. He'd already had to kill enough tonight. He'd hate to add that investigator to the count too.

 _I need to get somewhere safe,_ he commanded himself. He had a feeling Mr Yoshimura was dead. Anyone else from Anteiku was likely dead as well, or far away from here. Anteiku was probably destroyed in the raid - no way they'd leave it behind. Knocking on CCG's front door would be utter suicide. Hide was likely gone; Kaneki's own mother might've never even been who he thought she was. He was alone. He had nobody. Maybe nobody would take him in. Furthermore, maybe nobody would be able to finally help him fix himself. Truly alone, forever.

No, he couldn't accept that. He needed to hang on. He didn't want to be alone. _Selfish bastard,_ he scolded himself. _But is it really so bad to be selfish right now? It helps me go on, doesn't it? I want to help others. But to do that, I need to help myself first. I can't give up yet. I can't let myself down. I can't let the others down._

Kaneki steeled himself. He did want to help the people he cared about, whether that was for his own gain or for them wasn't important. He needed to keep fighting. He needed to keep getting stronger. He needed to save himself. He needed to make sure the manager didn't die in vain. And he would.

"Touka and Hinami will never forgive me. If they're even still alive." They would sooner turn themselves in to the CCG than welcome him back into their lives. He still had to see if they were safe at least, if he ever saw them again. He would let them choose what to do with him from there.

Standing from the murky water beneath him, Kaneki began to search for a way out into above-ground Tokyo. He needed to see Anteiku for himself.

Even before seeing the coffee shop he could tell it was gone. A thick smell of smoke filled the winter air. From around the corner, the amber glow of flames gave the final answer to his question. /It's gone./ He prepared himself for the worst. As the building came into view, he knew what he was looking at but couldn't comprehend it. The building had caved in and was now no more than a smouldering mess. No surprise, the CCG had purged everything to do with the 20th Ward ghouls. They never did any harm, but that didn't matter to them. The ruined building used to mean safety, a haven for any ghoul in danger. Now it was nothing. No more casual talks over coffee, that was for sure. In front of the derelict building knelt a darkened, slender figure, trembling and sobbing.

Touka.

Kaneki carefully approached her from behind, not daring to touch her. She didn't move. She was as still as a corpse, save her trembling. Kaneki stood mere feet behind her, for long enough she had to know he was there. She still said nothing. Kaneki took another step and Touka flinched. He stopped in his tracks. The girl croaked, "You just had to leave, didn't you?"

"Touka… I'm sorry," Kaneki replied in the way he always knew how.

"You're damn right! You've gotta be pretty stupid to come back just in time to watch everything burn. Do you even care it's gone?" She stood and turned to face Kaneki. She stared into his soul. Kaneki had become jaded over the last few months, but her stare still felt too piercing to be comfortable. He stared right back. "What are you doing here?" Touka continued.

"Guess you could say I'm paying my respects. And, if I can, I came to comfort a friend."

Touka's face wrinkled in a mix of anger and misery. She tried to speak, but only squeaks and croaks escaped her mouth. She angrily cleared her throat. "If you think we're friends after everything you've done…" Touka clenched a fist, likely wanting nothing more than to punch Kaneki hard in the jaw.

The half ghoul shook his head. "I'm not looking for a lecture, Touka. Just to talk. I know I've been terrible lately, but I needed to figure some things out."

Touka shouted out in defiance. "Shut up already! Don't talk to me about 'figuring things out'! You left us. Right when we needed you! This is _your fault_!" She threw her punch, closing the gap between them in one second. Her punch met Kaneki's hand, who stepped back to brace the force. He closed his hand tight around her fist. She growled and motioned to bring her knee into his gut, but was in no condition to fight anymore. She fell forward into Kaneki's chest out of pure exhaustion, both mental and physical. Kaneki held her up and placed his free hand on the back of Touka's head.

Touka didn't object anymore. She began to sob into his tattered shirt. "It's gone… it's all gone."

He wanted to say something to make her feel better, take the pain away, but no words came. He stood speechless for a moment. "I know," he whispered simply. There was nothing else to say. Touka continued to sob, and Kaneki continued to run his hand over her hair. Soon, her crying slowed and she fell into a light sleep. Kaneki's lips curled into a half smile, surprised she dozed off so fast. "Touka? You alright?" When the girl gave no reply, he slid an arm under her legs and cautiously picked her up. "I'll take you home."

This moment in history felt like an end to conflict for some. Those who knew better planned for the next crisis. Nobody, however, comprehended what would come next. Not completely. Tokyo, perhaps all of Japan or even the world, would get torn apart at the seams.

Getting Touka home proved more difficult than he anticipated. The whole eastern end of Tokyo had been locked down in the raid, and he had to make winding paths to keep away from the CCG. Another hour later, he finally made it to her apartment. He tiptoed up the front steps and noticed an intercom and number pad before the front door. _Autolocked, of course._ He huffed his dissatisfaction and set Touka on the ground. He shook her arm lightly in an effort to wake her up. "Touka," he whispered. "C'mon, get up. I need your door code!" Touka didn't so much as stir. Kaneki grunted in frustration. _Of all things to happen after losing my home..._

If he wanted to get her inside, he'd have to jump up to the sixth floor. Hoisting Touka onto his shoulder, he circled the building to the back balconies. Crouching and counting the floors, he leapt with the agility only a ghoul could have. The air whipped past his face as he reached his arc. The extra weight he carried threw off his balance, but he still made it to Touka's balcony with little trouble. He landed with a smack of damp shoes, and once again set Touka on the ground. He tried the balcony door, and it slid open. _Finally, something goes my way._ One last time, he picked up the girl before stepping into her apartment. Though nearly pitch dark, he picked out her small bed just to his left. He set her down carefully and pulled a thin blanket over her. He knew it would do very little, she was drenched through her clothes. _Not much I can do about that,_ he thought. _In that case, I guess I don't have anything else to do here._ Kaneki stepped back out onto the balcony with a light sigh. "I'm sorry," he whispered - to Touka, to Hinami, wherever she was, to Mr. Yoshimura, to Hide, to himself. He'd done so much damage. He worried if he could ever repair it all.

AMON

The investigator jerked awake. He immediately regretted doing so, as a burning pain shot through his torso. He grit his teeth and looked around the white-walled room he now sat in. Or rather not a room, an ambulance. Outside the back windows, the Tokyo streets sat covered with a thin sheet of snow, painted red by the ambulance's lights. Glancing down at his body, it had been wrapped in bandages. They had stained through with blood. _How did_ this _happen?_ He asked himself. He couldn't recall anything from earlier that night.

"This is Kishou. He's awake." A powerful voice took his attention. He turned his head to the side and did his best to ignore the pain from doing so. To Amon's left sat the CCG's most skilled investigator: Arima Kishou. "Welcome back to the land of the living, Koutarou."

"Special Class Arima? What's going on?"

"You were badly injured in a fight with the Centipede. I'd say you're lucky you survived. We're taking you back to the CCG's medical facility as we speak." His face, as usual, was impossible to read. He continued. "You'll be glad to know Akira Mado is safe. She's already contacted me a number of times to check on you."

 _Akira..._ It warmed his heart to know she was alive. When he finished recovery, he would do something special for her. He didn't know what, but something told him he'd have some time to figure it out. "Thank you for telling me, sir."

The ambulance leaned to the side, and out the back window, Amon could see the vehicle driving onto a highway. "How far are we from the hospital?"

"Not long now," Arima confirmed. "Only another fifteen minutes, if the snow doesn't complicate things."

Amon rested back into his gurney. Though searing pain shot through his abdomen, he worked to tune it out. As he tried to relax, a question gnawed at his mind. "Sir," he began, "What happened to the Centipede?"

Arima turned his head away from Amon, to stare out the back window. "Reports say he fled underground. Nobody saw for sure. We sent teams down into the underground to look for him, with no success. Officially, he's missing. Some people say he's dead. I guarantee he's out there somewhere. And when we find him..."

The ambulance came to a sudden halt. "What in the..." Arima stepped out of the ambulance, rounding to the front. From inside, Amon heard him talk to the driver. "Why did you stop?"

"Sir," the driver said. "Look." Look? At what? Amon groaned. _Of all the times to not be able to see._

A span of silence fell over the winter environment. Arima returned to the back of the ambulance and grabbed his briefcase from the floor. "A group of ghouls is blocking the road ahead. I'll clear them out." stepping outside again, Arima pressed the button on his briefcase handle, releasing his legendary quinque. "Driver," he said, "I'll try to get them out of the way. If you see an opening, take it."

"Y-yes, sir!" The driver stuttered. He or Arima shut the driver door, and things became silent. Any noise from the fight which undoubtedly ensued became muffled by the snowfall. Amon felt a chill on his legs, the night air cooling the cab. He sat waiting for Arima's return, or for the driver to move ahead. Neither happened for minutes. He lay motionless, exposed directly to the cold air and the darkness of outside. All lay quiet. Still a bit of copper taste in his mouth, likely from his own blood, Amon swallowed. The taste remained. He lay in wait for whatever would come next.

Something slammed into the side of the ambulance. The vehicle tipped to its side. Amon flipped out of the gurney, onto his face. He cursed as he struggled to his knees. Turning around, nothing was there. The other wall of the vehicle sat deformed and bowed inward. No sound came from the drivers. "Special Class Arima!" he called out. "What happened?"

No response came. He crawled forward to investigate. Inching toward the opening, battling the burning in his stomach, he peered outside. Still nothing. The air filled with a pungent odour of spilt rubbing alcohol. Something must have broken open. Still, no sign of the attacker. "Arima-Joutou?"

A glow of purple shone through the snowy air. It grew larger each second, approaching the ambulance. Amon climbed out. He fought against the agony in his legs. The glow intensified. It closed in at an alarming speed. Amon manoeuvred to round the overturned car. He circled to the right side. Arima still fought in the distance, but he looked like he was trying to get back to the ambulance. Amon waved for him. "Something's coming!" He shouted. "I've got nothing to fight with!" Arima probably couldn't hear him. The distant investigator sprinted for the ambulance. Amon turned back around to check for the purple glow.

It had disappeared. The glow was gone. _What?_ He turned back around. _Where is it?_

A thick purple kagune wrapped around Amon's legs. He toppled to the ground, landing on his wrists. Before he could even protest, the kagune threw him into the air, off the highway overpass and tumbling for the streets below. He tried to stabilize himself. The street below rushed towards him. The investigator threw his arms in front of his face. Before he slammed into the ground, the kagune snatched him up again and whipped him back toward the ghoul it sprouted from. He kept back vomit and blood from pouring out his mouth as he got pulled in toward his opponent. In the dim light of the overhead street lamps, he saw the ghoul which held him. Their face stark white, the eyes stared blankly ahead, seemingly through Amon. The crippled investigator shuddered but swallowed his anxiety. The ghoul grinned. He raised an arm forward, the taking hold of Amon's throat. The ghoul squeezed hard. Amon choked, his eyes bulging. He fought to keep conscious. The ghoul squeezed harder. Amon heard Arima's voice faintly to his rear. He clawed at the ghoul's meaty arm. /Let go,/ he wanted to say. Only a choked squeak escaped his mouth. His vision blurred. The ghoul's head turned to Amon's left. Arima was likely - hopefully - close. Before the special class could reach him, Amon blacked out.

?

"This is my favourite game. And it's finally time to begin."

((Welcome to the new, improved, and totally revised, Reconciliation - now called Tokyo Ghoul re:Concile. After completing a 2-year volunteer mission to Japan for my church, I've come back renewed with a fresh outlook on Japan, its people, a knowledge of the language based on experience, and this time an actual set out plot! I plan to release more often and more regularly starting now. And to kick things off, I'm coming out with all twelve original chapters completely revisited and touched up with love. I hope you enjoy! Also, if you're a fan of Mistborn, I now have a Mistborn fanfiction posted which I wrote in collaboration with another wonderful friend of mine. In any case, thanks to any old readers for coming back, and thanks to you new readers for showing up to the party at its best point!))


	2. Prologue - Old

*WARNING! Numerous anime and manga spoilers ahead. If you haven't finished the original TG series, read at your own risk.*

A/N: Hello everybody. I'm Caleb, and I have a story for you. I was slightly unhappy with the way that the Tokyo Ghoul manga and anime played out. So I've taken it upon myself to rewrite some of the happenings in the canon to fit my desires, while still seeming as realistic as possible. So in my Tokyo Ghoul AU, it has been three months since the Anteiku raid, but Kaneki is still Kaneki, and he never fought Arima, but Kaneki is going insane still and is trying to fix himself and regain control. Unfortunately Hide is still MIA, but only to give some personal drive to Kaneki's character. As well, Amon is alive for anyone who grew to like him, and I've added my own special characters who I'll be switching to the POV of every once in a while. And one more note: this story also features a Touka x Kaneki pairing and light dustings of romance later on. Please leave whatever constructive feedback you have, and enjoy!

Prologue

KANEKI

A white haired young man stumbled through the underground canals of Tokyo. These areas had become known as the 24th Ward by the local ghouls, and only they dared venture into the depths of the city. The young man had no choice. He was being hunted, and this place would give him refuge. He trembled, made weak from a long battle, and collapsed into a cold, damp wall. His vision was cloudy, any shapes in the dark becoming muddied and smudged together. "Come on, Kaneki. Breathe… get a hold of yourself."

He took several slow, controlled breaths and allowed himself to rest. He was relieved to be away from the gunshots, blazing fire, screaming, burnt rubber, and death. So much death. And over what? Ghouls, of course. Ghouls who rarely if ever did anything to disturb the peace. The CCG never seemed to care when it came to his kind. They simply killed, or rather exterminated the ghouls.

Tonight, Ken Kaneki could label himself the better person in this conflict. He had a chance to kill a very dangerous investigator, but decided against it. That investigator, Amon Koutarou, would hopefully live on to remember their encounter and the reluctant mercy of his opponent. _That's unlikely,_ thought Kaneki, _but maybe he will. No harm in hoping._

The young man regained some of his sight and composure. He stood from the concrete wall, supporting his own weight again. _I should leave the ward,_ he thought. But something kept him here. An old friend he needed to find. Hide had to be somewhere close. If only he had some ideas as to where. He stood in silence for a time, thinking and trying to keep his mind clear of a panic attack.

 _GiVE it To ME… gIve UP yOUr MinD…_

Panic attacks were the least of his worries. The leftovers of those he'd eaten still gnawing at his brain, the scraps of Rize and Yamori echoed guttural commands to his mind. "No…" he began. "That's mine… let me keep it." He wanted to finally have control again. It would not let him.

Ever since leaving Anteiku for Aogiri Tree, Kaneki struggled to maintain his emotions or restrain his actions. The loose ends he never tied up, Yamori and Rize, the ghouls he ate, never left him alone anymore. Give me back control…" He whimpered.

Kaneki could no longer restrain his kagune. It burst from his back and thrashed about. The force behind the hulking tendrils picked him up off the ground. He shot across the tunnel and landed face first in a puddle, his nose crunching on the concrete.

He collapsed in the putrid water beneath him and fought a war in his mind, writhing and flailing, wailing and screaming for it to stop. He begged to be free. The demons in him would not let him be free. He kicked and thrashed and clawed at the air, with no success. His pain only increased.

AMON

"Amon… please." A woman called to him. It was so quiet, like a whisper directly in his ear, but it seemed so far away. Was he dying? No. He couldn't be. He still had work to do. His colleagues needed him

Amon saw light in the distance. People always said not to go toward the light. He followed their instructions and opened his eyes, coughing dryly. _Akira?_ She was kneeling over him, a single tear in her eye.

"Come on Amon, stay with me. Don't leave me, damn it!" Akira never spoke like this. He must have really been close to dying.

"I'm not going anywhere yet," he wheezed, cracking a tired smirk. She let a half-smile creep onto her lips, then wrapped her arms around Amon's still limp body. _Why do I feel numb?_ He could feel his body was all there, but he couldn't move it.

Amon strained to recall the events of the night. Cold, death and destruction, a determination to fight and win. There was something else as well. Pain, something punching through him, warmth, and the nearby embrace of death. "What happened to the Eyepatch?" The reason why Amon ended up in this situation in the first place. They had met each other in battle and resorted to their only option, fight to the death.

But something about their encounter seemed wrong. Amon should have died if the Centipede was strong enough to put him in this condition. So why wasn't he dead?

Akira shook her head. "He escaped, Amon. But he wasn't the objective. We did what we came for, I think. I hope."

KANEKI

He coughed up water and blood, regaining some control over himself. Tears, water, and more of his own blood streamed down his face. He shakily found the will and the strength to stand. If this was not Hell, he was unsure how different it could be from this. If nothing else, he could now tell others he had been through Hell. All because he decided to eat another ghoul.

 _I_ _need to find someone to help me,_ he commanded himself. He had a feeling Mr. Yoshimura was dead. Anyone else from Anteiku was likely dead as well, or far away from here. Knocking on CCG's front door would be utter suicide. Hide was likely gone; his family might never have existed. He was alone. He had nobody.

Maybe nobody could help him. Maybe he would suffer like this, totally alone, until he fixed himself. No, he could not accept that. He needed to hang on. He did not want to be alone. _Selfish bastard,_ he scolded himself. _But is that really so bad? If I want to help others, I need to help myself first. I can't give up yet. I can't let myself down._

Kaneki steeled himself. He did want to help the people he cared about, whether for his own gain or for them did not matter to him right now. He needed to keep fighting. He needed to keep getting stronger. He needed to save himself, and honor Mr. Yoshimura's dying wish. And he would.

"I won't let you control me," he told the voices in his head. They who had tormented him endlessly and indiscriminately for the last three months finally stopped screaming in his head for a moment. Like when he drank his first coffee as a ghoul, Kaneki felt hope. As his mind made room without the voices he would normally hear, a thought came to him about who he could now go to, if anybody.

"Touka and Hinami will never forgive me," he figured. They would sooner turn themselves in to the CCG than welcome him back to their lives. He still had to see if they were safe, at least. He would let them choose what to do with him from there.

Kaneki hardened his resolve once more, finding a way out of the sewage canals and into the midnight streets of Tokyo. _I have a feeling Touka came looking for me. Even if she's upset with me something always seems to draw her back_. If she ended up anywhere during the night, Anteiku would have been the place. He would look there first.

Even before seeing Anteiku he could tell it was gone. From around the corner,the amber glow of flames gave the answer to his question. He prepared himself for the worst. As the building came into view, he knew what he was looking at but could not comprehend it at the same time. The building had caved in and was now no more than a smoldering mess. No surprise, the CCG had purged everything to do with the 20th Ward ghouls they could get their white gloves on. The ruined building used to mean safety, a haven for any ghoul in need. In front of it knelt a slender figure, trembling and sobbing. Touka.

Kaneki carefully approached her from behind, not daring to touch her. She did not move. She was as still as a corpse, save her trembling. Kaneki stood mere feet behind her, for too long.

Kaneki took another step and Touka flinched. Kaneki stopped in his tracks. Touka croaked, "You just had to leave, didn't you?"

"Touka… I'm sorry," Kaneki replied in the only way he knew how to.

"You're damn right!" She stood and turned to face Kaneki. She stared into his soul. Kaneki had become jaded. She could no longer affect him. He stared right back. "What are you doing here?" Touka continued.

"The same thing you are. I'm paying my respects. And hoping to comfort a friend."

Touka's face wrinkled in a mix of anger and sadness. She tried to speak, but only squeaks and croaks escaped her mouth. She angrily cleared her throat. "If you think we're friends after everything you've done…" Touka clenched a fist, wanting nothing more than to punch him hard in the jaw.

The half ghoul shook his head. "I'm not looking for a lecture, Kirishima. Just to talk."

Touka had none of it. She threw her punch, closing the gap between them in one second. Her punch met Kaneki's hand, and he closed it tight around her fist. Touka wanted to bring her knee into his gut, but she was in no condition to continue. She fell forward into Kaneki's chest out of pure exhaustion, both mental and physical. Kaneki held her up and placed his free hand on the back of Touka's head.

She let herself sob into his tattered shirt. "It's gone… it's all gone."

"I know," he whispered. There was nothing else to say. Touka continued to sob, and Kaneki continued to run his hand over her hair. Within a minute, she had fallen asleep. Kaneki breathed a laugh, surprised she dozed off so fast. He slid an arm under her legs and cautiously picked her up. "I'll take you back to Yomo."

This moment in history felt like an end to conflict for some. Those who knew better planned for the next crisis. Nobody, however, comprehended what could come next. Not completely. Tokyo, in due time, would get torn apart at the seams.


	3. Chapter 1 - Old

A/N: Wow. I've already gotten great feedback! Thanks everyone. Hopefully the idea isn't too farfetched, but even if it is, I'll do my very best to make it believable. So anyway, these notes will become shorter and less frequent, meaning you get right to the story! And one more thing: If you want to read more by me, go take a look at my Wattpad profile, CM_Badiuk, where I post my original works. Anyway, keep enjoying this and give all the feedback you want!

* * *

Chapter 1

3 Months Later

KANEKI

None of the ghouls of Anteiku returned to the 20th Ward. They determined it would be on lockdown by the CCG, and thus highly dangerous to even step foot inside the borders without preparation. The only people to go back were Kaneki, Touka, and Yomo. Even then they only returned to assess the conditions of the area after weeks of prep and planning. So for now, everyone from Anteiku was partially scattered around Tokyo, mostly settling in the 23rd Ward. This included Kaneki, Touka, and Hinami.

They lived in separate apartments under fake names and didn't associate with each other much, due mostly to the wishes of Touka. It seemed no matter how hard Kaneki tried to right his wrongs and make amends, Touka would have none of it. Then again, what else was he to expect from her?

Kaneki was on his way to meet a contact who would help him on a food run. While he was alone, he let all these thoughts and more distract him from Rize and Yamori shaking the fence around his sanity. He often did this. It helped more than almost anything else to keep him afloat.

His train of thought shifted again when he saw a man in a beige trench coat ahead.

"Keirebu," Kaneki called out to the man. "The creepy approach does not suit you."

The man turned toward Kaneki and smiled. "And the threatening approach never did suit you either," he shot back.

Keirebu was a one-eyed ghoul like Kaneki. However Keirebu became one by his own choice. Any ghoul who ever met him thought he was stupid or insane for choosing this life, but he didn't care. He saw the value in a ghoul's life, and he wanted others to see it too.

"How's CCG working out? Still looking for me?" Kaneki continued walking, nodding to signal Keirebu to follow.

Keeping up, Keirebu threw his coat into a gutter, revealing a large duffel bag on his back. "Yeah, they're keeping busy for sure. Amon is still mulling over the fact that he didn't die that night."

"Of course he is," Kaneki scoffed. "The bastard needs to lighten up a bit."

"As if you're any better."

"In case you haven't noticed," Kaneki lifted his shirt to show the scar on his right side. "I have a bit more reason to wonder why I'm not dead." He covered himself again.

Keirebu sighed, keeping quiet in knowing the conversation wouldn't go anywhere positive anytime soon. The two continued at a brisk pace to their destination. Keirebu especially knew that the CCG wouldn't pause their patrol so a couple of ghouls could get food.

For now, the feeding grounds for non-murderous ghouls was near a popular suicide spot for prison inmates. Nobody seemed to care if a few criminals disappeared, so it seemed like the most humane way to eat. How this spot hadn't been fixed by the city yet was beyond the two ghouls, but they didn't complain. It meant easier food, after all.

Kaneki was the first to scale the fence. Once he was over, he slipped on a ski mask. The mask was less conspicuous than a ghoul mask, and much cheaper. Keirebu slipped on a similar mask and leaped over the barbed wire topping the concrete. In the last couple of food runs, Kaneki had found there was almost no security camera coverage of this section of the prison. It was like they were begging for ghouls to steal bodies. He was more than happy to answer their begging.

Keirebu still felt reluctant about all this, but he gave himself a responsibility to help the city's ghouls so he would continue as long as they needed him. He didn't see them not needing him for a long time.

After packing up two corpses, the ghouls jumped back over the fence, thankful as always for their fortune. "You don't need to come, you know," Kaneki commented.

"I realize," he replied, "but this is better work than CCG. Besides, I wasn't needed for anything today. I guess being assigned to the 23rd Ward really does have its perks."

Kaneki hummed. The old him wouldn't have been able to complete the job at all if someone like Keirebu weren't present. He probably would have smiled at Keirebu's remark of 'perks.' But the old Kaneki was gone. At least for now. Everyone who knew Kaneki now had a solid understanding of that. As unfortunate as it was.

The pair returned to Kaneki's home, located across the street from the ghouls' new refuge, which would be called ':re' once it was finished. They would likely have called it Anteiku, to pay respect to all their losses, but everyone came to the consensus that it would be too obvious a name to the CCG. So by suggestion of Touka, the place was called :re.

"I can take things from here, Keirebu." Kaneki took the duffel bag off Keirebu's shoulder. "You can go home now."

Keirebu nodded, turning around and descending the stairs from floor six to the ground.

Kaneki was once again alone, left only with the voices to occupy his brain. He shut them out, reminding himself, "My mind is my own." He would often have to use this type of talking to keep his mind away from insanity. Sometimes he would think about himself, sometimes he would think about Hide, and his determination to find him. Sometimes he would think about reconciling his friendship with Hinami, and other times he would think about Touka. Not always about something specific, but just about Touka in general. It was strange, but she helped keep him sane more than anything sometimes.

He suppressed his kagune's desire to break free. He was getting good at controlling his ghoulish tendencies. He still felt it was only a matter of time before things got worse for him. He still hadn't found someone to help him properly deal with his insanity. He would, though. There had to be someone.

He retired to his bed, taking out his phone and sending a goodnight message to Touka. She rarely, if ever, replied, but he sent them anyway. It never hurt.

Tonight, she did reply:

 _Night. Come see me tomorrow_.

Kaneki went to bed with a bit of eagerness for the next day. He was a bit suspicious, but something told him tomorrow would be good with whatever this was.

* * *

The next morning, Kaneki went to meet Touka near Uta's mask shop. He anticipated her to be late, so he was surprised when he showed up and she was already there.

"You're late," she snapped.

"I expected you to take your time, like always." Kaneki stopped in front of her, staring into her eyes with no eyepatch to get in the way. He was frustrated, but he still thought her eyes were beautiful. "What are we here for?"

Touka raised the bag she had around her wrist, tossing it to Kaneki. "Your new mask," she told him. He would wait to look at it. "And," she continued, "I want you to take me to a bookstore."

Kaneki was taken aback by her remark. "Touka, what are you asking me?"

Touka rolled her eyes. "It's not a date, you idiot. I want to get something for Hinami and I need help."

Kaneki knew it wasn't a date, but his heart still sank at the remark. Why, he wondered, was that? He would think about it later. "Alright, I'll go. On one condition."

"What?"

"You tell Hinami I got the book for her too."

"Why would that matter to you?"

"Because," Kaneki explained, "she's still my little sister too."

Touka sighed. "Fine."

It was quite a walk from the mask shop to Kaneki's favourite bookstore. It had been months since he'd been, given this is where he fell into Rize's trap when he was still human. He felt like it might help his sanity a bit to go back, though. Facing his fears wasn't something he was used to, but it was worth a shot.

Kaneki took Touka directly to the section where Sen Takatsuki's books could be found. Kaneki had a feeling Hinami could use something new of hers to read. Last he checked she could handle Takatsuki's books much more easily. He picked a couple he thought would be good, handing them to Touka.

"So," Kaneki tried to engage conversation. "How is Hinami?"

Touka kept her eyes forward as they walked through the store. "A bit better, I guess. She's been eating better lately and hasn't seemed so depressed."

"That's good, then. I'm glad." Kaneki hoped that by sounding a bit more positive, things might get better a bit more easily.

Touka just kept looking forward. "Yeah."

On their way to check out, Touka looked preoccupied in a way he'd never seen before from her. She looked toward the large windows at one end of the store and cursed.

"What?" Kaneki asked.

"My best friend is here." She grabbed hold of Kaneki's hand and interlaced their fingers, putting on a very convincing fake smile.

Kaneki skipped a beat at their contact, then realized what this was. "You want me to put on a show for your friend?"

Touka cleared her throat. "Y-yeah. She thinks I'm going out with you."

"That's kind of unlikely, given how you act with me," Kaneki said.

"Just shut up and play the part." Touka brought herself up to Kaneki's side, practically hugging his arm and resting her head on his shoulder.

Yoriko decided to say hello, grabbing her coat and bag and approaching the "couple" in line. "Touka! You didn't tell me you'd be on a date today!" She wore a large grin with her skirt and dress coat.

"Yeah, we just decided to go out today," she replied, cuddling closer to Kaneki. He wanted to shiver at their contact, but he held himself still and smiled, resting his head on top of hers.

"I don't think I've ever met your boyfriend before," Yoriko mentioned. She bowed slightly. "I'm Yoriko. Nice to meet you."

"Kaneki," he told her, bowing back.

"He's so cute, Touka! You really scored!" Yoriko looked Kaneki up and down, enjoying what she saw. Kaneki went a little red, feeling her gaze travel up and down his body.

Touka chuckled. "Yeah, I really did." That almost sounded genuine to Kaneki. He knew it couldn't be, though. She was too hostile towards him to think that for real. "I'm sorry Yoriko, but we have to go. We have someplace to be."

"Oh really?" Yoriko's eyes went wide and she leaned back. "Where's that?"

Touka rolled her eyes. "We're going to lunch, you pervert. And we're going to be late for our reservation."

"Well fine then. I'll catch up with you later, Touka!" Yoriko walked down an aisle of the bookstore, leaving the two alone.

"That was close," Touka puffed. "Just in case, we should keep up theact until we leave."

Kaneki agreed, progressing down the checkout line, Touka still wrapped around his arm. He loved how this felt. Somehow it felt natural, even if that was how they were meaning for it to feel.

The pair kept up the act through the rest of the checkout line, on their way out of the store, and until they left the line of sight of the windows. Then Touka let go of Kaneki, to his unspoken disappointment. Admittedly to her disappointment as well.

"I didn't expect her to be there." Touka cursed again, flattening out a hair that had stuck up from clinging to Kaneki. She was disappointed to let go too, but she wasn't about to tell him that. She still had some hate for him and she wanted him to believe that. "Anyway, uh, thanks. For the help."

"No problem," he told her.

The two were silent for a time afterwards. Finally, Kaneki piped up again. "I'll see you around."

"Yeah," replied Touka. They parted ways at that remark, both left wondering if anything more could have come from that meeting.

* * *

Later that day, Kaneki was again retiring to bed for the night when he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He pulled it out and checked the unread message. It was from Touka.

 _Goodnight Kaneki._

A smile crept onto Kaneki's face. He replied, returning the wish. That night, he slept a little easier for a reason he couldn't totally explain. He knew however, that there was a bit more to Touka and Kaneki's relationship than he first thought.


	4. Chapter 2 - Old

AMON

One question would not leave the investigator's head. For three months, he had toiled over one issue, one loose thread, one unexplained occurrence. He still lost sleep over it, and he feared he may never find the answer. Sitting in the head office of the CCG's 20th Ward Division building, the four grey walls holding him together, he fought with conflicting ideas and theories swimming around his head.

"Why am I not dead?" he whispered.

Akira, his partner, heard his near-silent question. She sighed and slapped her papers down on her desk. "Amon, you need to let go of your petty conflictions. You're alive. That's fine."

"But why me? So many others would be much more vital than me in current events. Plenty of good men and women would probably still be alive if I wasn't." He stared blankly at the wooden crucifix above his doorway. "The Centipede probably wouldn't still be at large if I had died."

"Amon, stop it." She snapped him out of his trance. "Stop right now. With that kind of attitude, you won't do any good alive or dead." She stood from her chair and walked around Amon's desk, placing her arms around his neck. "You are alive for a reason. Look for whatever that is."

Amon fought back his negative thoughts, making room for his partner's positive ones. He knew it wasn't like him to dwell on unfavourable circumstances. He would make up for his weakness later. "You're right." At that moment, he steeled himself, making a resolution to find the Eyepatch Ghoul, and figure out why he allowed an investigator live. Maybe he'd also learn why Amon himself allowed the ghoul to live.

"Amon," Akira ran a hand down Amon's arm, "we're going to dinner, then you're taking me home."

Amon was still getting used to the idea of dating Akira, dating his mentor's daughter. So he tentatively stood from his chair, taking her waist and pulling her into a hug. He simply said one word. "Okay." Both investigators knew he wasn't only agreeing with the plan. He was also saying 'thank you.'

Both grabbed their coats on the way out of the office, saying goodnight to everyone present without another word. Everyone knew the two were seeing each other, but they let Amon and Akira themselves think they were the only ones to know. Fraternization was highly frowned upon in the CCG, but only the superiors really cared. Amon was the highest superior in the ward, so by default he was fine.

The evening streets of Tokyo were bustling with post-work crowds of people and cars. Akira, with Amon's hand in hers, guided herself and Amon through the crowds. Amon would've lost track of Akira had their hands not been locked together.

"Do we even know where we're going?" Amon fought to keep up.

Akira laughed loudly enough she could hear herself over the crowds. "No idea! We'll find somewhere, this is Tokyo!" They passed many fast food chains and a couple expensive restaurants, moving further and further away from the relative safety of the CCG building. They were both high ranking officers, but neither of them had any apparent protection if things went sour.

Very quickly, the bustling crowds turned into small groups as the city shifted into more residential areas. The streets became less lit with neon colour and more with traditional street lamps. The pair were losing opportunities for dinner.

"It doesn't look like we'll find anywhere to eat at this rate," Amon commented.

Akira stopped walking, looking around the block. "I think you might be right." She frowned. "Now what?"

"I could prepare something, back at my apartment." Smiling lightly, Amon gripped Akira's hand tighter.

Akira smiled back. "I'd like that."

Now it was Amon's turn to lead. He escorted Akira back a few blocks, then wove through back streets and alleys before emerging across the street from the 25th ward CCG headquarters.

"This is where you live?" Akira had an eyebrow raised at Amon. This seemed like something he would do.

"I'm nearby in case they need help," he replied. He knew they wouldn't. This was the 25th ward, after all. "It never hurts to be around, at least."

"I won't argue. I'm starving."

"Me too. Come with me. I'm sure I can make something decent for us."

A few steps down the lamp lit block and a short elevator ride found the pair in front of Amon's apartment. He grabbed a key from the inside of his suit pocket and opened the door.

Amon's apartment was modest. Similar in size to a student's apartment, with a blend of eastern and western furnishings. When Akira walked in, she took a spin and noticed a wooden cross above the doorway. It was homely in here. She liked it. Amon took her coat, hanging it and his own coat in the small closet to their right. They both took off their shoes and stepped further into the room.

"I'll begin on dinner," Amon said. He stepped into the kitchen, or what passed as a kitchen, and pulled some vegetables, a chicken breast, rice, and sauces from his fridge and cupboards. "Please, have a seat." Amon gestured to his living room. Akira had accidentally been staring at Amon again. It was difficult not to sometimes. She shook herself back to awareness and took a seat in a small easy chair.

Some time later, Amon came to serve Akira their dinner: a teriyaki chicken dish with mixed vegetables. "It looks delicious," she said.

"Thank you," Amon replied. "It's nothing special, but I enjoy it." He handed her chopsticks, and she began eating. Amon took a moment to bring his hands together. "Itadakimasu," he spoke. A brief show of appreciation to his god for the meal. Simple, yet elegant and beautiful. Akira smiled. Amon picked up his chopsticks and began eating. They both gazed at the city skyline through the window.

"It's beautiful," Akira commented. She felt Amon's gaze rest on her. She couldn't help but blush.

"Yes, it is." He was not only talking about the city, but her as well.

Akira grinned, knowing what Amon meant. "It's an honour to protect all of this. I hope we're doing it well."

"So do I," Amon admitted. For a moment, he looked deep in thought. "We have a shared burden to keep the peace, but what if the peace we are striving for isn't possible?"

Akira frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, what if we can't eradicate or detain the ghouls? What if we're not supposed to?" Amon fought back the urge to hit himself. That sounded ridiculous.

Akira thought for a moment, staring at her food. "I don't know, Amon. I don't have an answer for that. I guess we'll see what happens if the time comes."

After the meal, Akira helped Amon clean up before she would leave for home. "Thank you for the food tonight, Amon," she said as she washed one of the bowls they had used.

"You're welcome." Amon smiled. "It was good to have you over."

Akira hummed and nodded. Part of her didn't want to leave. She thought that may not be appropriate, however. So instead, she stopped washing dishes and gave Amon a tight hug, pulling his face down for a kiss. Amon gently wrapped his arms around Akira and returned the kiss briefly. It was soft and tender, full of compassion rather than desire. _This is how love should be_ , the pair thought.

They released each other, Akira grinning and Amon returning a somewhat sheepish half smile. They locked eyes for a moment. Finally, Akira spoke up. "I should head home."

"I suppose so." Amon frowned. He wouldn't mind spending the night with her, but they would both need energy for work tomorrow. So, he saw Akira out the door, said goodbye, and returned to his living room after shutting the door. He looked back out across Tokyo, thinking about the future, and the words and actions of the Centipede. "I will find out why you didn't kill me," he promised.


	5. Chapter 3 - Old

KANEKI

He woke in a cold sweat, his t-shirt soaked through. He was panting, a sharp pain in his back. "Another nightmare," he whispered. He rubbed his back briefly, then grabbed his phone from under his pillow. No new messages, as he'd expect. He opened up his message history with Touka and began typing a new one.

 _Another nightmare. Back hurts like a mother. Still up?_

Kaneki hit send and put his phone down. No response came, so he lay in his bed, trying not to think. He'd practiced in his time before the Anteiku raid. That too helped him cope with his guilt and his conflicting personalities. A half hour later, when he was ready to fall asleep again, he felt his phone buzz on his stomach. He picked it up and checked the message.

 _Yeah can't really sleep. I'm on my way. Need coffee?_

 _Not this time,_ he replied. _You don't have to come, you know_.

 _Nothing better to do. Like I said, I can't sleep._

Reluctantly, Kaneki accepted her rare generosity. _Okay. I'll buzz you in when you get here. See you in a few._

 _Yup._

Touka insisted that Kaneki tell her when he would have nightmares. She said she needed to keep track of them in case they got too dangerous and Kaneki would need to be put out of his misery. That was her excuse, but he knew there was a bit more to it than that. Kaneki would smirk whenever he thought about it. He lay in bed until Touka arrived, at which point he opened the building's front doors for her.

"I told you I didn't want coffee," Kaneki said when she walked in the door.

Touka looked at the two travel cups in her hands. "I didn't bring this for you. I'm going to need both of these if I'm staying up with you again." She sat on Kaneki's bed and took a sip from one of the cups. Kaneki took a seat at his desk and turned on his computer. He didn't want to sit next to her yet. He still didn't have much experience with her at night and despite being able to take her down now, he didn't want to take his chances with her this time.

"So what did you dream about?" Touka pulled her legs up onto the bed with her.

Kaneki stared at the wall for a moment. "I ate Hide." He couldn't say more. The images in his head were torturous to think about.

"Still having dreams about him, huh?" Touka was, as always, unsympathetic.

"Well he was basically my brother, Touka. You can't expect me not to."

Touka, despite being blank faced already, lost what little emotion she had in her face. "No. I guess I can't."

Kaneki could tell that something changed in Touka for at least a brief moment. "Touka? What's wrong?" A tear was rolling down her cheek. She didn't respond. "Touka?"

"It's nothing," she said. She wiped her cheek of the tear. When she noticed Kaneki staring at her, she wanted so badly to punch him. Or maybe not him, but something. "What are you staring at, dumbass?"

Kaneki sighed, pushing the harsh title aside. "Touka," he began, "you can tell me what's going on."

Touka couldn't hold back anymore. Tears came to her eyes and her lip quivered. "My brother is so stupid." She laughed through her tears, through her pain. "I'm so worried for him."

Kaneki sat in his chair, gazing at his feet. The old Kaneki would have easily gotten up and hugged her, but he was not the old Kaneki. That boy was long gone. Still, she needed him as much as he needed her. He got off his chair, kneeled in front of Touka, and pulled her into his embrace. Touka jumped at his contact, but soon she relaxed into him and started openly crying.

"He's gonna get himself killed. He's gonna die, and I'm gonna be alone, and I can't take that."

He hushed her softly. "Just be quiet, Touka. Breathe. It'll be okay."

"How would you know?" She snapped.

"Because I've lost my brother, but I'm not alone." Kaneki rested his eyes on Touka. She met his gaze and saw the pain in his eyes was the same as hers. She clenched her eyes shut and fell into him again. He didn't need or want her to say more. He was fine doing what he was. For the next ten minutes, Touka rested on Kaneki, soaking his t-shirt with her tears. Kaneki just kept stroking her hair.

Eventually, Touka stopped crying and sniffed, wiping her eyes clear again. Kaneki still held her, but let his grasp loosen as he thought she would want to move away. Instead, she lay back into his chest, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Thanks," she finally uttered.

"You're welcome." Kaneki carefully brought his hands away from Touka's back.

When she felt his hands leave, she reached for them and put them back on her. "I'm not done with you yet," she told him.

Kaneki strangely didn't object. He felt comfortable embracing Touka and having her rest on him so casually. They just stayed in the same spot for nearly twenty minutes, at which point Touka seemed to be dozing off.

"Touka?" Kaneki whispered. "Do you need to go home?"

She groaned, her eyes mostly shut. "I guess I should." She didn't get up, however. She still rested on her half-ghoul pillow. Once again, she noticed how intoxicating his scent was. Not only in the sense of a hunter smelling its prey, but in a way she had never paid attention to before. It was… attractive. "Actually, I don't think I'm awake enough to go home now. Plus the creeps and other ghouls are out now. Could I…" she hesitated. Should she dare say it? "Could I stay here?"

Kaneki was shocked to hear Touka ask such a question. He never would have thought, in a million years, that the hard shelled, tough-as-nails Touka Kirishima would ask to stay at someone's house because of "creeps and other ghouls," especially his house. However, he didn't object. "Okay," he said. "But where will you sleep?"

"If it's okay, I want to sleep with you." She paused as Kaneki recoiled slightly. "Not like that, you perv. There's just nowhere else to sleep in this crammed place. Come on, Ken."

Kaneki was screaming internally. His inner crushing teenager was having a hysterical fit, and his newer, more sensible mind was having a hard time keeping the rest of himself in check. "Alright, I guess that's fine. Just don't kick around in your sleep or anything. You'll be on the floor if you do."

"Or you will," Touka shot back.

Kaneki wasn't about to fight back. He was tired too. "Just try not to, okay?"

"Okay," she agreed. "Oh, and if you touch me, on purpose or not, you're sleeping face first in the dirt. Got that?"

Kaneki rolled his eyes. "Yup," he said, unimpressed.

Touka smirked. "Good." She climbed onto Kaneki's bed and got under the covers sluggishly. Kaneki followed with extreme caution and reluctance. Once he was in bed and as far away from Touka as possible without falling off the bed, he shut off the light and whispered, "Goodnight."

Touka grunted in response. She was already dozing off. As she fell into sleep, Kaneki stared at the ceiling for a time. "What in the world just happened?" he pondered. After a while, he determined he would think on it tomorrow, and went to sleep. He had no more nightmares that night.

Touka awoke the next morning facing Kaneki, their mouths mere inches from each other's. She realized his hand had ended up on her hip and wondered if that was on purpose, or a result of sleep. She didn't care either way. She'd harass him for it at least a little. When she focused on his face, she noticed just how soft his features looked. He was still the same Kaneki she met with black hair and an eyepatch, but now she could see pain, even in his resting expression. She frowned. The pain he felt was never meant for him. He didn't ask to be a ghoul, but here he was among them, living the same suffering-filled existence as them. She now understood why he was so scared when he first became a ghoul. But she was still happy he had come around. Without him, she might not be alive on a couple of occasions. Without him, she would have internalized her pain toward her brother. Without him, she wouldn't know what-

Kaneki stirred. Touka pulled her hand away from his cheek, where it had mysteriously come to rest as she was deep in thought. She could only hope he didn't wake because of that contact. Kaneki didn't seem to wake, and Touka sighed deeply when he rolled onto his other side. She crept out of bed before she could cause another close call. Admittedly, she didn't want to leave Kaneki's side. _What am I saying?_ She thought. _He might be different, but he's still the stupid kid I knew at Anteiku._ She shook any thoughts of him from her head as she slipped her shoes on and gathered her things. The coffee she brought was still sitting on Kaneki's desk. _I wasted good money on that…_

Kaneki stirred once again. Now that she was out of bed, Touka didn't care if he woke or not. She swiped the travel cups, still full, and tossed them in the garbage. The drop was enough to wake him, and his eyes fluttered open. "Still here, Touka?" He groaned.

"Not for long, but yeah." She zipped up her jacket and slipped into her boots at the front door.

Kaneki sat up in bed and rubbed his eyes. "Where are you going?"

"I'm in school, Kaneki. I need to go to classes."

Kaneki paused. "Oh. Right." He was disappointed she would have to leave, but he knew how much she valued school. It was good for her.

"What's wrong, Kaneki?"

"Nothing, sorry." The white haired young man clenched his eyes shut to force the sleep out of them. "I guess it's just difficult living alone sometimes with nothing to do."

Touka nodded. To an extent she understood, and felt almost reluctant to leave him now. But she knew he understood her circumstances, and she did need to get to class. "If you want me to, I can come back or meet you somewhere after classes."

Kaneki did his best to suppress his smile. "I can meet you in the park near :re, if that works." He stood with shaky legs, still a bit weak from sleep. Once he was up, he walked toward Touka to see her out the door.

She met him once her boots were on and shook her head. She still felt he was stupid and childish sometimes, in that cute way. Kaneki opened his arms slightly, inviting Touka into a hug. She once more rested into his soft embrace. After a tender moment, however, she recoiled. "I should go," she admitted.

"Alright," he agreed. He let her go, still reluctant to do so, and smiled as she opened the door. "I'll see you later."

"Bye, Kaneki." She shut the door behind her and sighed. She'd see him again later. _For now, I have classes to get to._ She left the building in a jog, heading to the metro station.

Kaneki sat back down on his bed and stared at the door. She was gone again. But, she came last night to help him feel alright. _Thank you, Touka,_ he thought.

 _ThaNk yoU…_

Something crept in the back of his mind again.

 _ThAnk yOu? WHAT do YoU have to THank HER fOr?_

Kaneki shifted uncomfortably. _Don't you dare,_ he thought. _Not this soon._ Pain shot into his temple. He grabbed his head to suppress it as best he could. His lower spine felt as if knives stabbed into it repeatedly. He had a spasm and screamed and fell to the floor. He pulled his legs up to his chest and gripped his head with clawing fingers.

As Kaneki desperately slammed his head against the ground and wailed for mercy from the demons in his mind, his kagune burst from his back and shattered his apartment window. Kaneki rolled on top of his blood-like tentacle to restrict its movement as best he could. Through squinting eyes, he saw his window was blown out and the tendril was writhing in the open Tokyo air. Someone in the streets below would have surely seen it by now. _I can't get found now!_

 _LeT GO,_ his mind demanded. _Let thEm fInD yOU… kILL THEM. EAT. Give iN._

Kaneki screamed once more in a bout of anger, arching his back in an attempt to recoil his kagune by force. "You do no control me!"

 _ThEn cONTrol us… ShoW uS YOur WILL…_

There was no way for Kaneki to get a hold of himself. He submit to his insane mind and gave his self control away.

He shut his eyes.

An eternal minute later, someone bashed down Kaneki's door. When he ripped his eyes open, he saw the legs of who it was. The person wore slacks and dress shoes. Their legs were spread apart in a battle ready stance, but they made no move. The insanity in Kaneki's head recoiled. His kagune reduced and slipped into him again. Kaneki started panting, tears of pain streamed down his cheeks and he looked to the person in front of him.

Amon Koutarou.

"Don't panic," he said. "I'll hear what happened before making a judgement."


	6. Chapter 4 - Old

KANEKI

Amon Koutarou?

Kaneki trembled, attempting to get his strength back and at least sit up. Amon towered over him, as alive as the day they fought. Something was different about him, though. His eyes had mercy in them. Kaneki was grateful. He had been through enough at the hands of Koutarou. He managed to sit up, resting on his knees. He panted, wiping the cold sweat from his forehead

"Are you going to say anything, Kaneki?" Amon crouched down to meet Kaneki's face. He still looked as stern as ever.

Kaneki gulped. "How do you know my name?" His voice trembled as the words left his mouth.

"I've done some research since we last met." The powerful looking young man stood, then gestured down the hall to... who?

A moment later, Keirebu stepped into the room. From behind Amon, he nodded to Kaneki. He nodded back subtly. "What's the situation, Amon?" Keirebu came to Amon's side.

"I'm going to hear this ghoul out," said Amon. "Lucky for him, he didn't hurt anyone in the area with his little… outburst."

Kaneki breathed out his relief. The last thing he wanted was a crime to be held over his head. He got his bearings and stood carefully. "Well, it's difficult to explain," Kaneki started. "Around the time of the Aogiri Tree Raid, when I was captured by Yamori, I resorted to cannibalism to survive. I ate some kakugan, and that combined with Rize Kamishiro appearing in my mind from my organ transplant, I have less control over my kagune than I'd like to. I lost control of it just then, when you saw it."

Amon nodded, somewhat understanding the young man's explanation. "Well then you're definitely not guilty of anything, except maybe for defacing private property. Is this your apartment?"

"Yes," Kaneki replied quickly.

"Well then you have nothing to worry about. But, I do have a few questions for you."

Kaneki looked to Amon, then to Keirebu. He shrugged. "What do you need to know?"

Amon asked the question bothering him the most first. "Why did you leave me alive that night, during the Anteiku Raid?"

Kaneki was somewhat taken aback by the sheer brashness of Amon's remark. He took a moment to process the investigator's words. "I didn't want to kill you, so I didn't. What else is there to say?'

That wasn't enough for Amon. He asked a related question: "Did you not want to be a murderer? Or was there something else that influenced your choice?"

Kaneki again took a moment to think, then replied with a bit more sincerity. I didn't want to be a murderer, for sure, but I guess I thought you were… important. I don't know, what more can I say?"

Amon felt a little more satisfied with that answer. He nodded and let a tiny half smile creep onto his lips. "I don't think you understand how important it was for me to hear that, Kaneki. Thank you for co-operating." He stood up now, looking to Keirebu gesturing out of the room with his hand. "By the way, I'll make sure this stays off the record. Other investigators may not be so merciful if they find out about this."

This seemed strangely uncharacteristic of Amon. What had changed in him? And had it really been enough to have him exercise mercy with ghouls? Or was this just an act to create a better profile on Kaneki himself? Whatever it was, he would go along with it. "Thank you Mr. Koutarou."

Amon nodded, leaving the apartment and closing the door behind him. After a minute, Kaneki found his phone and hastily sent a message to Touka.

 _Amon Koutarou just showed up at my apartment._

Not even ten seconds later, Touka replied.

 _What? You mean the Dove who used to be Mado's apprentice?_

 _That's the guy._

 _Kuso._ She cursed. _What happened?_

 _I lost control and broke my window. He saw it happen, stepped in, and asked me a few questions, then left. He said he'd keep it off the record but I'm not sure what to think._

Touka took a few minutes to respond this time. He wasn't at all surprised. Something like this was more abnormal than Kaneki's very existence.

 _Are you okay?_

That was definitely not the reply Kaneki expected. He smiled in reading it, however.

 _I'm okay. Thanks for asking. Just let myself slip for a minute._

 _Okay. Do you want me to just come back to your place after classes?_

 _I think I'm fine. But thanks._

 _Okay._

Kaneki put away his phone. There was nothing more to say. He just sat on his bed again, then felt a draft from the broken window. He glanced up to it and noticed shards of glass in the windowsill. Sighing, he stood again and cleaned the glass, then put a spare bedsheet over the broken window. He would get it fixed later.

* * *

TOUKA

She put away her phone and bit her lip. Whatever just happened to Kaneki was extremely off. She figured it would be rude to just leave him alone now. _After school,_ she thought, _I'm going to see him again._ She nodded to herself, then refocused on her studies.

Touka's phone buzzed on the table. She got a text from Yoriko. She opened it.

 _You look troubled. Everything okay?_

Touka had no idea her unease was noticeable. She glanced around the study hall, seeing her best friend a few tables over. Her brow was furrowed and her eyes were widened. Touka sent a text back.

 _Yeah, I'm okay. The boyfriend just got a bit sick, that's all._

 _Alright. Tell him to get better for me._

 _Thanks Yoriko. I will._

She set her phone down and returned once again to studying. She lifted her gaze some time later and saw Yoriko smile in her direction. Touka smiled back. Though she frowned as soon as she looked back down to her textbooks. She was worried about Kaneki. Especially after learning a Dove came to visit because his fit of insanity ended up disturbing the neighborhood. That would not mean anything good for the whole ward. This had better not spark another raid. But she was thinking too much, and she really did need to keep on top of her studies. For Hinami. For the life she wanted to help her have.

She continued memorizing her material for another two hours before deciding finally to pack up and head over to see Kaneki again. She went on her way, not wasting even a second in getting there as fast as possible. As the thick of winter had passed a couple weeks ago, the sun took more time to fall in the pale sky. Still, it was already nearly set. Touka could see her breath in front of her, urging her to hurry and get warm in Kaneki's arms… Or his home, rather. _Where did that come from?_ She asked herself. She shook her head to clear the thought out. Still, the image stuck of Kaneki and his strong, capable build. Her cheeks flared pink, and in the crisp air they felt extra warm. She picked up her pace again, almost jogging. Now she did not try to banish her thoughts about Kaneki. They were driving her forward. She would laugh about her mind's stupidity if she were not so cold.

With her brisk pace and determined mind, she soon reached Kaneki's apartment and knocked on the door. Kaneki called from inside, "Who's there?"

"Come see for yourself, lazy." Touka rested a hand on her hip and waited for Kaneki to come to the door. A moment later he opened it, standing in the doorway with a towel around his waist and wet, matted down hair that was carelessly pushed aside and out of his eyes. Once he realized who was at the door he jumped and grabbed hold of his towel. His knuckles soon went white from gripping it so tight.

Touka was surprised to see him this way. She was not at all complaining, but she said nothing to make him think as much. "Should I give you a minute, Ken?"

Kaneki shook his head, blushing about his own circumstances for the first time in likely a year. "Come in. I'll just change in the bathroom and be out in a minute."

Touka stepped in, taking off her boots and closing the door behind her. She glanced around the cramped apartment, taking in the limited sight for the second time that day. It was truly a tiny place. A counter space with just enough room for a sink and a hot plate, a "fridge" next to the counter, a ratty old bed at the back of the room with an end table at the head, and a small TV resting on a similar end table to the one at the head of Kaneki's bed. The bathroom was off to the side of the front of the room, and behind the walls his bathroom created was a cheap office desk and chair with a miserable bookshelf next to it, jam-packed with assorted novels. This was more than modest. But living off practically nothing required this of a person. Hopefully this would change for all of them soon, once :re was ready to open.

Kaneki came back into the main room in boxers and a muscle shirt that practically clung to his chest. Touka put forth all her effort to keep her eyes off him. In doing so, she noticed the bed sheet over the window at the end of the room. "So that's your repair job?"

Kaneki coughed out some kind of a laugh. "Until I can somehow find the money to pay the landlady, that'll have to do."

"I guess so," Touka said. Kaneki stared at her, looking puzzled. "What?"

With a cocked eyebrow he asked, "What are you doing here? I told you I'd be fine on my own."

"You did, but let's face it. You're never fine. So I came to see how you're really doing." She stepped further into the apartment and sat on Kaneki's bed. He came with her and sat next to her, plopping onto the bed with a grunt.

"Well I am okay, Touka. Right now, at least." Kaneki looked into her eyes for a second. Her heart skipped a beat and her eyes stuck to his. Then he turned away. She cursed in her head. _He's affecting me way too much,_ she thought. Part of her just wanted to let go of her difficult façade and tell him how she really felt right now. But she feared his reaction, his rejection. The thought of him leaving again like everyone else tormented her, so she stayed quiet.

But could it really be as bad as she thought? There were a number of occasions when Touka felt like Kaneki would accept her with open arms. Even just last night, when she slept in his bed with him, she thought she could let go of her doubts and her fears. But she knew she couldn't. And besides, they had their own lives and their own troubles to worry about. The last thing either of them needed was a significant other to worry about too.

Still, they gave each other looks that would say the total opposite. The room always seemed to heat up when they looked at each other, or when their hands happened to touch. How was she going to hold back when he was so attractive? How could she not ask for him to take away her pain when he was obviously ready to do so?

"Touka," Kaneki spoke, "I… I appreciate you coming to check up on me." He wrung his hands as he spoke, his eyes locked downward.

Touka smiled, pulling her hair out of her face. She then flattened her face once she realized she looked like a schoolgirl talking to her crush. "It's nothing," she said simply.

Kaneki sighed. "Yeah." He placed his hand on hers gently. Touka didn't recoil, but her brow furrowed and her jaw dropped. "I need to say something," Kaneki continued. "I've never really properly said this, but I'm sorry. For leaving Anteiku, for letting it burn, for letting Yoshimura get killed, for ruining our friendship. I didn't want any of this to happen."

Touka was surprised. She thought he'd apologized already for sure. _I guess it wasn't enough for him,_ she thought. "I accept your apology, Kaneki. It's okay, really. I was stupid for blaming you for everything."

Kaneki shook his head in protest. "No, it was me. I wasn't strong enough, and people died. Because of my weakness, people are gone or separated. I deserve all of the blame whether its-"

She stopped his ranting by placing a finger over his lips. Then she did something she never thought she would: she kissed him. She leaned in quickly, put a hand on his cheek, and pressed her lips to his. They were so soft, and they quivered somewhat against hers, but soon they relaxed. She could feel him reach around her back with his arm, pulling her closer. She took a chance and placed her free hand on his chest. She was not disappointed with her choice. She could easily feel his heartbeat under his strong pecks. Both breathed deeply, highly satisfied with their positions.

Touka was the first to pull away, however, and her gaze dropped in her embarrassment. "I'm sorry," she said. "That was stupid of me."

Kaneki put a finger under Touka's chin, bringing her gaze back up to meet his. He was smiling. "Thank you." He wrapped his arms around the girl and held her tight. Eventually, Touka relaxed into his arms and wrapped her own around him. All her worries and insecurities were suddenly gone. Kaneki spoke again. "Touka, I want you to know something."

"Yes, Kaneki?" Touka looked up from where she rested on the half ghoul's chest.

Kaneki took in a deep breath. "I really like you. Even though you're difficult and rude and I know you hated me for a long while, I've liked you from the first second I saw you. And its okay if you don't feel the same way. I just figured you should know."

Touka wanted to cry for some reason. Maybe she now knew he did not intend to leave, and maybe she knew someone wanted her around. Or maybe she finally knew he felt something she had been feeling for so long, but had suppressed from fear of not knowing how to express herself. Whatever the case, she decided to let a few tears out. She didn't care if he could feel them or not. She felt secure, and happy. She wanted him to know that. "I like you too," she told him.


	7. Chapter 5 - Old

KEIREBU

 _I love you, Caleb…_

Her words would always echo in his head. No matter where he was or what the time of day, the memory of her constantly played over in his mind. At least he did not cry anymore. That was definitely a bonus.

Keirebu, known originally as Caleb in English, lay in his bed staring at the ceiling. He thought over the last decade of his life instead of sleeping, as he had many times before. "It's been some ride," he whispered. Sometimes she would talk back. This was not one of those times. Still, he continued to speak. "At least he's dead now. I can put my revenge to rest."

He stepped out of bed, getting too warm and deciding to grab some water. The wood floor was cold, but he enjoyed it. It would help him cool off faster. He shuffled into his kitchen, grabbed a glass, and used the filtered pump on his fridge to, filling his cup. While waiting, he took an opportunity to stare out onto the night cityscape of Tokyo that lay outside his balcony window. "This view never gets old, right?" Still no reply, unfortunately. He sighed and brought the cup to his mouth, taking a sip. The view never did get old, but it reminded him of his last moments with her, with Jade.

The next morning, after trying to get some sleep, Keirebu showed up to work at the CCG 23rd Ward office. He made sure to get the stench of corpse off his breath before going. He already nearly triggered the Rc scanners as it was. No need for the smell of his breakfast to blow his cover. He greeted co-workers, lesser, equal, and greater, as he passed on the way to his office. Of course, there were few below Keirebu, he being only a Rank 2 Investigator.

Soon he reached his senior investigator's office. He knocked on the door. His superior told him to come in, so he opened the door and bowed deeply on his way in. "Yofukuna-san," he said. "Good morning, sir."

Yofukuna nodded to Keirebu with a smile. "Good morning, Keirebu. A touch early, as always."

"If I'm to move up in the ranks sir, I need to make a good impression." He smiled back, rising from his bow. "Do you need help with anything today, sir?"

Yofukuna stood from his office chair, bracing himself on his desk. Age was beginning to affect him. "I don't think so, no. If you'd like to again, you can participate in patrols for a few hours. Just make sure to come back before six o'clock. The head office has requested our presence."

Keirebu raised an eyebrow. "Is that all you know, sir?"

"Unfortunately," Yofukuna began, "yes. I would trust this is of utmost importance, of course, so be prompt." "Of course, sir. I'll see you at six tonight, then."

Out on the streets of Tokyo, Keirebu stood at a street corner, briefcase in hand. He sometimes found it strange, carrying around a briefcase. He had a real kagune of his own, after all. A nice rinkaku at that. His quinque was good, but he felt he might forget who he was if he relied on it too much. So instead of using it, he simply carried it to show he was armed, one way or another.

He was headed to Kaneki's home closer to the edge of the ward. He needed to talk to somebody, and Kaneki had the right to know what Keirebu had to tell him. Yes, Keirebu had just been there yesterday, but Amon was around then. Not exactly the best place to talk about a secret half-ghoul identity, or a difficult past surrounding it.

At times as Keirebu waked across the city, he drew curious or surprised looks from other pedestrians. Doves had definitely become more common within the last few months, but they were still rare to see on the streets. Often times they would drive, take transit, or already be at the scene of a crime. However it was no more dangerous for an investigator to walk around unaccompanied, and Keirebu enjoyed the urban scenery, so he walked.

He passed through a suburban area of the city on his way to his destination. Set on a hill lay a house larger and more western in style than the rest. The windows were boarded up and the siding and paint had melted away from fires. An image flashed in Keirebu's mind of flames and terrified eyes, and his mind brought back feelings of tragedy and betrayal. He winced, turning away from the home. _Still hurts like it was yesterday,_ he thought. He kept walking. Soon he returned to the usual urban setting of Tokyo.

Kaneki's house was not far now. Keirebu pulled his phone from his pocket and sent a message to Kaneki.

 _Are you at home?_

 _Yeah, why?_

 _I need to talk to you about something._

He did not respond past that. Keirebu assumed Kaneki was agreeing to listen. He slipped his phone back into his pocket, reaching the front door of Kaneki's apartment building and requesting to be let in. A moment later, Kaneki's voice spoke, _I've got the door. Come up quickly._ Keirebu did as was suggested and opened the front door of the apartment building, entering the elevator and ascending to his desired floor.

He rapped on Kaneki's door lightly. From outside, he could hear shuffling and some whispered talking. He knocked again. "Kaneki? Are you in there?"

No response came. Keirebu tentatively ran his finger over the shallow button on his briefcase. If this wasn't Kaneki, he would be ready to dispatch of whoever it was efficiently. He called out one more time. "Kaneki?"

"One second, Keirebu!" Kaneki called back. Keirebu relaxed, moving his finger from the button and backing up from the door. Then he heard what sounded like a belt being buckled, and Touka's voice. Keirebu smirked. "So that's what happened," he muttered with a smirk.

A moment later, the door swung open to reveal a messy-haired Kaneki, his eyes wide. "Sorry about that. My, uh… my apartment was a bit messy." He rubbed the back of his neck.

Keirebu chuckled bowing slightly. "I'm sure it was," he said knowingly. "May I come in?"

"Of course," Kaneki replied, stepping out of the way. Once he moved, Keirebu noticed Touka sitting 'casually' on Kaneki's bed, eyeing his bookshelf. He greeted her, she greeted him back more politely than she normally would. He smiled again, knowing his theory of what they had done last night was further confirmed. To help his case more, Touka's clothes were far more ruffled than she would allow if she were paying attention. Obviously something else was on her mind.

"So," Kaneki broke the silence that ensued, "why'd you stop by?"

Keirebu took a seat on the floor, careful not to wrinkle his dress pants. "I needed to talk to you about something. Would you mind?"

"Of course not," the white haired young man told him. "Should Touka leave?" He glanced to the girl, who pushed a lock of hair from her eyes.

"No, she's okay to stay. Just… keep quiet about this. What I'm about to tell you could ruin my cover for good."

The two young adults exchanged glances. Kaneki closed and locked his door, then came to sit on the bed next to Touka – closer than normal. _Good,_ Keirebu thought. _They're getting along much better for now, at least._ Seeing they were settled, Keirebu took out his earpiece and shut it off, then slipped it into his pocket.

"So I know I haven't been too forthcoming about my history as of late. I'd like to change that."

Kaneki leaned in closer, bending over his legs and resting his arms on his knees. "I'm all ears."

Keirebu sighed and shook his head. "This will take a while. Keep that in mind."

* * *

THREE YEARS EARLIER

KEIREBU

The rain fell hard. It pelted the uncovered, filthy head of a homeless young man, aimlessly searching the neighborhood for a place to sleep. Tokyo was so crowded. The young man was lucky enough to have found a more suburban area of the city, coming across a high school. Just across the field, a baseball diamond sat empty, the bleachers soaked. Underneath those seats, however, would be almost completely dry. He dashed across the field, keeping his duffel bag on his shoulder until he could take it off properly. His feet landed in puddles as he ran, soaking his legs from the ankle down. It hadn't been the first time that night. He no longer took notice of it. Upon reaching the bleachers, he nearly dove to get out of the rain. He sighed heavily, sitting down for the first time since the morning and removing his duffel bag from his shoulder. The outside was drenched. Hopefully his blanket would be fine.

As he began to unzip the bag, something shifted behind him, out of his sight. He turned in a flash, ready to strike if necessary. Behind him was a girl, possibly around his age, sleeping under the risen seats, same as he planned to. She smelled human. His stomach grumbled. It had been weeks since he last had a chance to eat anything, and it was beginning to get to him. He stared at the sleeping girl with hunger, his left eye turning black out of instinct. Her eyes fluttered as he crept over her, ready to strike.

He recoiled in an instant, his eye returning to normal. For a moment, he stared at his hands, appalled at himself. Not even two years ago, he was human too. Had he really let his morals go this much?

The girl woke, blinking the sleep from her eyes. She saw the young man in front of her and shrunk further back into the seats, cursing loudly. "Who are you?" She asked frantically.

"I- I'm sorry," the young man replied. "I'm just looking for a place to sleep. I'm... Caleb."

The girl studied the young man for a while before speaking again. "Caleb… You're homeless?"

"Yeah." He shrunk away as he spoke. He wasn't proud of his position. Who would really be proud of being an orphaned young man who chose to become a ghoul to deal with the pain of homelessness easier?

The girl gave Caleb a sympathetic look, eyeing him with curiosity as well. She spoke up, "I have a place you can stay for a while, if you'd like."

His eyes went wide. "Are you serious?"

"Sure, I'd be glad to help. Just, don't screw with me. I'm gonna trust you for now."

Caleb was speechless. He wasn't all too sure how to respond. After a few seconds of silence, he simply nodded, swallowing the nervous lump in his throat.

"Alright," the girl continued. "Follow me, we'll get you out of the rain."

Caleb stood, following the girl out from under the stands. They continued together for a couple blocks in silence, before he finally spoke up. "So… who are you?"

The girl eyed him again, as if to size him up. She smiled. "My name is Jade. I came from America to study in university here. With a name like Caleb, you must be from the US too?"

"I came from Canada, actually. Just around a year ago. Then I lost my credit card and all my money and now I'm stuck out here."

Jade frowned. "My family came here so we could expand our business. I haven't felt at home since leaving, especially with no friends here and the huge language barrier. But it's okay, I guess."

"Then I guess we both have no choice but to make it work, do we?"

She chuckled, still looking forward. "You more than me, I'd think!"

Caleb nodded slowly, his mind on the events that brought him here; he considered his time in foster care, his first run-in with the CCG back in Canada, his subsequent trip to Japan, and his stranding in Tokyo. He had so many things to think on instead of the rain or the girl walking next to him. They ended up keeping his attention away from where he was actually going with this girl. He forced his attention to return to his current situation, shaking his head around to snap himself out of his blank stare.

Further down the road, a large American style home sat in partial solitude, the nearby properties obviously bought by the owners of that house. The home seemed to be made of brick, with two large wooden pillars extending from the front steps up toward the overhang of the roof. It was charming, but uncharacteristically large for the area. Right next to the mansion-sized house lay a much smaller cabin, made of similar material. Jade pointed in the cabin's direction as they got closer to the property. "That's my house," she said. "My parents hired people to build it for me, but everything inside is stuff I've worked for myself. I never wanted to be rich."

Caleb nodded, only barely understanding her position. "Is there a room I can stay in?"

Jade smiled. "Yeah, there's a place for you. Once we get in I'll find you some dry clothes from my dad's stuff. That okay with you? At least for now?"

Caleb nodded with vigour. He was excited to finally be allowed back inside a house and have clean clothes. It had been two years for him since he last stepped foot in one, so this was quite the occasion.

They arrived at the front door. Jade fumbled with her keys. There weren't many on her keychain, but Caleb guessed her fingers were freezing, like his. She managed to grab the right key and insert it into the keyhole, unlocking and opening the door. She stepped inside and flipped the light switch, revealing the house inside.

It was modest inside, but very comfortable and functional as well. To the left on the way in lay the living room, furnished with a couch and two easy chairs, a coffee table, a small flat screen TV, and a proper wood burning fireplace built into the wall. Past that was what looked from Caleb's angle to be the kitchen. He stepped inside carefully, making sure not to disturb the warmth, comfort, and welcoming nature of the room.

"Make yourself at home," Jade told him. "I'm going to change out of these wet clothes and find you something to wear."

"Alright," Caleb said absently. He lowered himself onto the couch, relaxing into the cushions. It was softer than anything he'd ever felt, or so he thought at the time. Even a clean, new couch was a luxury to him.

Once Jade left the room, Caleb studied it further, glancing around and taking in the furniture and the painted walls. Then his stomach growled. He glanced down with a sigh and felt at his left eyelid. The veins were showing, he could feel them. His kakugan was showing. Caleb ignored that fact for the time being. _It should be gone by the time she gets back,_ he figured. He kept looking around the room, biding his time until Jade returned and his eye was back to normal.

Jade came back a few minutes later with new clothes in hand. "Okay, I found some sweatpants. Is that okay for now?" Rounding the corner, she stopped dead in her tracks, staring Caleb directly in the eyes. Or rather, at his one eye. She dropped the clothing and ran straight back the way she came.

Caleb felt at his eye again. The veins still popped out, meaning he thought wrong about his kakugan. He cursed under his breath and called after the girl. "Wait! This isn't what it looks like!" He leaped over the couch and marched down the hall after Jade. "I'm not going to eat you, I promise!"

Not a word came from anyone besides Caleb. He sighed. "I would've told you sooner, but I was afraid you'd do this. I didn't want to hurt you and I still don't. Just… trust me. Please."

A moment of silence passed, then Jade spoke up. She was almost too quiet to hear through her shut door. "Are you hungry? Is that why your eye's like that?"

Caleb lied. "No, I'm not hungry. I just don't have good control over my eye."

Jade's door creaked open. She stood carrying a phone in her left hand, ready to call the police. It seemed she hadn't dialed yet. She sighed deeply, trying to let her worry leave her. "You can still stay here, then. Just promise me one thing."

"Whatever you need," Caleb replied.

"Don't ever try to eat me, or put me in danger. You got that?"

He nodded once, hardening his expression to show the truth of his gesture. "I promise."

* * *

PRESENT

KEIREBU

"So to cut a long story short, a few weeks after Jade took me home, we fell in love. She was merciful to me despite the fact I was a ghoul, and she let me use some of her family's money to get back on my feet. She even helped me find Anteiku when I first started getting hungry around her. In order to support her and myself, I started going to high school and the CCG Academy at the same time, while also working part-time at Anteiku. We actually got engaged on the day I graduated from the academy. We were planning to get married a few months later. So with all that, things couldn't seem to get better or worse."

Touka and Kaneki listened intently as Keirebu told his history. "I had no idea you'd been through all that," Kaneki commented. "It's pretty impressive that you're still around. And sane, for that matter."

"Thank you." Keirebu looked to his feet, somewhat flattered by his words. He continued, "But then eventually I couldn't uphold my promise any longer. Someone ended up catching onto my identity. Kureo Mado, that bastard, found out that I was a ghoul." Keirebu's eyes glazed over. "He confronted me about it, and I confirmed his theories. I figured if he wanted to kill me, it was time for it to happen. But he didn't kill me. No, he had other, worse plans to tear me down."

* * *

A/N: Thanks so much to everyone who's been following my story thus far! I've had a blast writing it, and it's great to hear everyone's feedback. As of now, this story is simultaneously being posted on and Wattpad, both under my own personal accounts. You can read the story on whatever platform you prefer. As well, I'd like to announce to my readers that I'm working on a fan film for Tokyo Ghoul on top of this story and all my other projects. The film will tell a further piece of my OC's backstory, detailing his first run-in with the CCG and his escape from his home to Japan. If you want to know more about it, feel free to send me a PM. I'd be happy to answer your questions! Thanks again for all the support, and I'll talk to you again soon.

C. M. Badiuk, Dromear


	8. Chapter 6 - Old

TWO YEARS EARLIER

KEIREBU

 _I love you, Jade._

Caleb sat next to the fireplace in Jade's living room during the night. It offered a very real warmth in contrast to the cool snow falling gently on the suburbs outside. Jade was nestled into his arm, nearly asleep. _She's always looked so beautiful in her sleep,_ he thought. He kissed her forehead and caressed her arm, whispering softly to her.

"Fall asleep if you want. I'll be right here," he told her. She grew a faint smile, barely able to pay attention as her eyes fluttered.

Soon she was asleep, and Caleb was left to think again. So much had changed in the last year, it was almost too much to comprehend. He went from a desperate homeless ghoul afraid to be near humans, to a stable and happy student in the Japanese secondary school system. He also had managed to enter the CCG Training Academy, making it his main focus above secondary school. He smirked. _A 19-year-old half ghoul becoming a CCG Investigator. Weirdest idea I've ever heard._ After his first incident with the CCG back in Canada, it was difficult for Jade to understand why he joined the academy. Sometimes he too had trouble understanding why, but he would then remember the crimes of humans and ghouls alike. For the purpose of justice and due process, Caleb worked to become an investigator. He studied harder than anyone in his class to make sure his chance of being an investigator was high.

Jade stirred and readjusted her position. Caleb leaned back slowly, keeping Jade on his shoulder until they both lay on the floor. She smiled faintly in her sleep, nuzzling into him. He whispered to her. "I love you, Jade." She didn't reply, but he was okay with that. They were comfortable, relaxed. That was more than could be said for either of them before three months ago. Only by that point had they been able to relax for a while and feel steady. The couple felt prepared to take whatever could come next.

A knock came at the door. Jade stirred, groaning. "Stay here," Caleb whispered to her. "I'll see who it is." He got up, ensuring Jade was comfortable again, and shuffled to the door. He unlocked it and cracked it open. Kureo Mado, his current superior, stood on his doorstep. He was hunched over and smiling. He wore his signature white gloves, which Caleb scoffed at in his head. _Too good to even touch us with his bare hands._ He looked to the gloved hands a moment more, finding a wrapped container of food. _Strange,_ Caleb thought. _Why would he show up with food?_

"Good evening, Keirebu." Mado cracked his signature unsettling smile.

"Good evening, Mado-san." Caleb bowed deeply, showing a fibbed respect for the man at his door.

Kureo stepped inside, brushing past Caleb and glancing around the room. "This is a fine home, Keirebu. You can afford this?"

"Not me, sir. This is my girlfriend Jade's home." Caleb was concerned in the back of his head. This man was more dangerous than any other investigator he'd met. He was no Arima Kishou, but he was truly dangerous.

"I see," Mado said absently. "I'm sure you know, but I didn't come here to chat. I have a gift for you, as a congratulatory for your first year in the academy." He held out the food he brought in a gesture for Caleb to take it. Reluctantly, he did.

"Thank you very much," Caleb lied. He took the food and turned in the direction of the kitchen, but Mado stopped him with his gloved hand.

"Wouldn't you like to try some?" he asked. There was a glint in his eyes that concerned Caleb. _He's trying to expose me,_ he realized.

"Of course, sir. Just let me set it down and wake Jade." Caleb entered the kitchen and set the food down on the counter. He took a moment to compose himself. After a few deep breaths, he shuffled back into the living room and knelt over Jade. He nudged her shoulder. "Jade, I need you up now. Something... very urgent has just come up."

Jade groaned and shifted uncomfortably. "What's going on?"

"A surprise guest decided to show up tonight. One of my CCG superiors." Worry in his eyes, Caleb helped Jade to her feet.

As she stood, Jade's expression narrowed. "This is a problem, isn't it?"

Caleb nodded. "It is. At least, if we don't play our cards right. Come into the kitchen. He brought me food and wants us to try some." He took Jade's hand and turned in the direction of the kitchen.

Jade stayed put, pulling Caleb back a step. "Wait, he brought you food? And he insists we try it?" After another nod from her partner, she laughed, likely worried and unsure what else to do. "Are you okay with doing that?"

"Of course," Caleb replied with a smile. "This is what I've practiced for. Now we'd better not leave him waiting much longer. He'll get suspicious." Steeling himself, Caleb renewed his grip on Jade's arm and took her into the kitchen after him. He retrieved plates and utensils from drawers and set them on the kitchen island. After feeling somewhat calmed and barely prepared, he called to the Dove – the guest in his home. "We're ready for you, sir. Please come join us."

Kureo entered the kitchen a brief moment later, still wearing his coat and gloves. Caleb assumed they would stay on for the whole night. He wondered if Mado could take them off. "I guarantee you'll enjoy it. My daughter made it"

"I'm sure I will, sir. Before I eat, allow me to introduce you to Jade. Jade, this is Kureo Mado. He is one of my higher ranking superiors in the CCG."

Jade bowed to Mado, who nodded as Jade rose. They exchanged a few words, then silence fell. After a moment, Mado piped up. "Well I would love to stay and talk, but I need to be getting home or my daughter may wonder where I've gone. So if you would please…"

"Oh, sure." Caleb shook out of the blank stare he had slipped into and began to dish out some of the food for him and Jade. As he began to smell it however, he caught a hint of something appealing, even to him. He could feel his right eye twitch as the scent of human meat slithered up his nose. Inside, he panicked. _I need to come up with an alibi, quickly._ _If I can't control my eye, I'm done for._

Before Caleb could make another comment or action, Jade doubled over and grasped her stomach tight. Caleb rushed to her side, holding her close.

"Jade, are you okay?" Caleb was confused. This didn't seem regular for her.

She reached up to Caleb's shoulder and brought herself to his ear. "Play along," she whispered. Caleb took a second to process her words, but caught on in time.

Mado looked worried, which Caleb felt was likely manufactured. "Is everything alright?"

"She's cramping up," Caleb told him. Mado backed up a step. "I'm sorry," Caleb continued, "but it might be best if you leave. This'll only get worse from here."

For a split second Mado looked discouraged, but he banished it and nodded. "I have no need to see her suffer. And I should be getting home anyway." He turned to leave, adjusting his coat.

"I'm very sorry about this!" Caleb shouted after him. Jade fell to her knees and Caleb followed her down, holding her close.

Mado opened the front door and stepped back out into the snow, which now fell faster and harder. The hunched man's coat flapped in the wind. "Hopefully she feels better," he said in passing. Finally, he slammed the door. The couple was left alone.

Jade relaxed herself and wrapped her arms around her boyfriend. "Are you okay?"

Caleb smiled and held Jade tighter. "That was fantastic," he told her. "And yeah, I'm alright. Just a bit shaken up, I guess."

Jade nodded and grew a smile. "There was human meat in there, wasn't there?" She stood, smoothing down her tank top.

"Yeah. Hopefully you didn't make the mistake of eating any?"

She shook her head. "I could tell something was up when your eyelids started twitching."

Caleb's focus turned to the dish of food on the counter as he stood. "Good. Sick bastard. I don't even want to think of who's flesh that is."

"Obviously someone unimportant to Mado," Jade commented.

"Probably. Although nobody seems to be important to him, so it could really be anyone."

The pair thought no more on the topic. They quickly made sure the 'food' was thrown out and their doors and windows were locked. Afterwards, they sat back down by the fireplace, wrapped in blankets.

Before long, Jade was ready to drift back to sleep. Her eyes struggled to stay open, though she insisted on keeping awake. In mumbled tones, she spoke a few more simple words. "Can I ask you something?"

"What is it?" He curled in closer to her.

"What if I died suddenly? What would you do?"

Caleb paused. _How am I supposed to answer a question like that?_ "Well… I don't really know, honestly. I don't think I'd be able to do anything. Like, that'd put me out of commission for quite a while."

Jade huffed a laugh, cracking a smile. "I hope you wouldn't be out long. I'm flattered, but you have more to worry about that me."

"I know," he replied. "But it would still be nearly impossible for me to lose you."

"I love you, Caleb." Jade nuzzled into her boyfriend's chest.

Caleb, like before, leaned back and let his girlfriend rest on him. "I love you, Jade."

The two were quiet for a few minutes. They were happy, and comfortable. Jade stirred and spoke again. "What if I became a half-ghoul, like you?"

The young man shuddered. That was something he had never considered. If it had happened to him though, it could very well happen to Jade. "I… I have no idea. I guess I'd do everything in my power to turn you back."

Jade's brows scrunched up. "But I'd be alive, right? And you could have a ghoul to be around."

"It wouldn't be worth it if you'd be suffering. I may have chosen to become like this, but there has never been a moment where I don't recognize the hell my life can be because of my choice. I don't want you to ever feel that."

Jade sighed. "I understand," she said.

Caleb bent forward to kiss Jade's forehead. She smiled and pulled herself up to his face. In silence, Caleb gently pressed his lips against hers and wrapped his arms around her waist. She hummed and placed a hand on his cheek, her other arm slipping under his and resting on his back. Their forms blended together in their embrace, warm bodies becoming one in love. They each smiled into their kiss before breaking apart. Longingly and lovingly, they stared into each others' eyes. Caleb's a fine green hazel, Jade's a steely blue. Their foreheads rested on one another's. Caleb chuckled.

"What are you laughing about?"

"My luck. I just still don't understand how I can be so lucky to have you in my life."

She breathed a little laugh and glanced down. "Well those eyes of yours helped you out. They sucked me right in."

"So then it was a lost puppy dynamic when you found me?" Caleb smiled.

"That, and how you behaved when I brought you here. I never thought there was such a gentleman in the world. You gladly proved me wrong."

"And I'll keep exceeding your expectations as long as I can."

"I'd expect nothing less."

* * *

PRESENT

KEIREBU

Keirebu fought against his emotions, which urged him to cry. A tear rolled down his cheek. Across from him, Kaneki and Touka listened in silence. Their expressions were solemn and empathetic. "I'm sorry," Keirebu croaked. "It's only been a year since everything went down. I still have a lot of moving on to do."

Touka piped up first. "That's alright, Keirebu. You have a right to cry."

Kaneki nodded in agreement. "The only thing I don't understand is how Mado could have been so twisted as to murder an innocent woman in cold blood."

"Doesn't matter now. He might've been scum of the earth, but he's dead now. That must make you feel a bit better," Touka added.

Keirebu shook his head. "Just makes me feel more empty. Because now I really know she's gone for good."


	9. Chapter 7 - Old

ONE YEAR EARLIER

KEIREBU

His trench coat was soaked through to his suit. Hair matted down from the rain, Caleb, now better known as Keirebu by his colleagues and superiors, stared up at one of his commanding officers with fury.

Kureo Mado stared back down at him, one eye nearly closed, with a sickening grin. His quinque was unleashed, trailing behind him and ready for combat. "I always had my suspicions about you," he said. "Now to have you prove my theories, oh it feels so wonderful. Tell me honestly, Keirebu. How long did you think you could hide the truth?"

Keirebu spat at the silver-haired man's feet. He had nothing to say. For his disrespect, he got a foot straight to the gut. He coughed violently from the force, curling partially into a ball. "You won't say anything, will you?" Mado prodded him further, knowing the answer but attempting to torment the young man however he could.

"How about you just kill me and get it over with, you freak?" Keirebu's voice quivered as the words left his mouth. "It's not like you want me alive." He glared at the man above him, wanting so badly to shove his kagune straight through his fat head. He would be too fast for that, surely. So instead, he lay in partial submission at the man's feet.

Kureo laughed openly. "Freak? Me? Quite a strong word, Keirebu. Especially coming from you, a half-ghoul." He knelt to Keirebu's level and grabbed his face in a gloved hand. "Not being fully one thing or the other? You're more of an abomination than ghouls already are." He pulled his quinque closer to the recoiling creature below him, seemingly preparing for the killing blow. His arm was raised, ready to whip the quinque in his grasp down on the young man. He lowered it carefully. "Oh, you thought I would kill you so quickly? No, not yet. I have something different planned."

Mado whipped his quinque backwards, skillfully latching it onto something. He pulled it back, carefully bringing it out of the shadows to torment Keirebu. The anticipation was already gnawing at his consciousness. Once Kureo revealed his possession, Keirebu's jaw nearly hit the ground. He turned his head, wanting to look away but not finding the will to do so.

"Jade…?"

The hunch-backed monster had Jade captive within his quinque. She was struggling, but it was obvious it only made Kureo laugh, and his quinque grip tighter. "Instead of killing you, I thought it would be much more effective to torture your dear fiancée." Kureo pulled her in closer. Jade shrieked from the quick movement as her head jerked violently. She raised her head to smile weakly at Keirebu.

Keirebu stood, shuffling toward his love. She was weak, already starting to let go of life. "How did he find you?" He was on the verge of tears.

"I was just… at home, getting ready for the wedding… tomorrow." She wheezed, the air being pushed out of her by the grip of Mado's quinque.

Keirebu reached to cup her cheek, but Kureo pulled her back just faster than he could move. "Ah, hold on. I never said you could touch her."

Keirebu mustered a scream. "How did you find her?!" He rushed toward his fiancée, nearly reaching around her, but he tripped as Mado continued to pull her away. His forearms broke his fall before his face could hit the wet concrete. Still, he stayed on the ground, feeling defeat.

"You are a peculiar creature, aren't you? It's a shame you're so revolting." He spoke both to Keirebu, as well as Jade. Keirebu snarled and again fought back the urge to fight him. Especially now that he had Jade captive. He grit his teeth and lay there, watching as Kureo rested Jade against a concrete wall and let her slump to the ground. He crept overtop of Jade, taking an ordinary knife from his coat pocket and raising it to her face.

"You know," Mado began, "It's rare that I use this knife. But I figure this is as good a time as any to put it to use." He placed the tip of the blade into her mouth, wrenched it open, and rested the blade on her tongue. Jade struggled to scream, the noise coming out strangled and raspy.

Keirebu called out to her in desperation. He leaped up and broke into a full sprint to tackle Mado.

He was too fast. His quinque lashed out and swiped Keirebu's feet from under him, ripping them clean off. He landed on his dismembered ankles and fell forward, right back onto his arms. He cursed and writhed in the pooling water. Even if they would regenerate, he would not be able to help Jade or fight back for some time.

"Your dedication precedes you, Keirebu! But I need to stop you there for now." Mado turned his head to Keirebu, his knife still in Jade's open mouth. She was whimpering quietly, tears streaming down her face. He turned his gaze back to Jade, smiling at the image of his work on Keirebu, and carefully began running the edge of the blade across her tongue. He still did not make any cuts. He would have plenty of time for that. "I have work to do right now."

Keirebu reached into the inner pocket of his trench coat, searching for his phone. If he could call someone, or even get a picture of the events taking place, at least he could try bringing Kureo to justice for his actions. It was nowhere to be found. Frantically, he pat down his other pockets in search of the device. Nothing. He was completely on his own.

"Do you remember the night I brought that food to your home, Keirebu?" Kureo's words were distant, his focus on the suffering of the young woman underneath her. "When little Jeido here began to 'cramp up', I knew something was amiss. I knew I should have killed you both. But instead, I showed you both mercy. Now that mercy has all been used up, and you feel the consequences of being who you are." He forced the tip of his blade through Jade's tongue.

She shrieked, kicking and screaming under the dead weight of the ghoul investigator. She swatted at his back, kicked his legs, even tried to land a blow to his groin. Nothing phased him. He kept Jade's head still, twisting the blade enough to hurt but slowly enough to make one's patience wear thin. Keirebu screamed with his fiancée. He did not want to watch, yet he could not remove his gaze from the scene no matter how hard he tried.

After a minute passed like an hour, Mado reached into Jade's mouth. She tried to bite down on his fingers, but he slid his knife between her teeth and kept them open. He pulled out a piece of her tongue, raising it to his eye level. "It disgusts me to even think where this has been," he laughed. Keirebu finally broke into a crying fit. He slammed his fists on the ground, screaming and writhing in the shallow pool of water. He rose to his knees, his right eye hardening over into his kakugan, and released his kagune. It shot forward and swept for Mado's head, but was effortlessly deflected by the dove's quinque.

Keirebu's rinkaku slithered back and separated into a pair of smaller tendrils, which wrapped around his ankles and formed ends for him to stand on. He rose to a stand and screamed. "Get off her!"

Mado rose with a wry grin. "What are you going to do, Keirebu? You do realize…" His arm whipped down, his quinque slinking up behind him. He rose his arm and shaped his weapon to a point, aiming the end at Jade. "… I could quite easily kill her right now."

"I'm going to kill you before you can move another inch, you son of a bitch!" Keirebu pointed a finger at the thin-haired man. His voice was filled with fire, ready to die if he had to.

Mado rolled his eyes. "For crying out loud, Keirebu." He outstretched his arm, his quinque shooting forward in Keirebu's direction. The ghoul barely had time to dodge the attack, returning the blow with his own kagune. The dove ducked as soon as the crimson tendril came near him. Keirebu pulled it back and broke into a sprint and thrust his kagune into the ground, sending him into the air. He poised to hit Mado from the side. The man's quinque flew into place between the opponents, softening the blow but still sending him back two feet.

Keirebu landed at Jade's feet. "Just sit tight," he said to her. "We'll make it out of here."

She begged for him to leave, the words coming out slurred and dull from her severed tongue and the blood filling her mouth. She coughed. A splatter of red hit the back of Keirebu's leg.

"I'm not leaving, Jade!" He swung his kagune in front of himself, preparing to block Mado's attacks.

The quinque lashed out at him. His kagune clashed with it, sending white and pink sparks into the air. Keirebu lurched forward, pushing the weapon back. Mado stumbled, but kept his footing. He immediately sent another blow toward his opponent's legs. Keirebu thrust into the air again and barely blocked the quinque from hitting Jade. He swung his kagune over his head. It plummeted toward Mado, but was smacked out of the way. The quinque thrust toward Keirebu's chest. It landed a hit. The artificial limb ripped through the ghoul's chest. He coughed blood. His vision darkened. He was thrown into the ground twice, before being cast aside like before. He slammed into concrete and shouted out in agony. He watched as Mado once again knelt above the nearly dead Jade.

"You've managed to persistently get in the way of my work tonight, Keirebu. Should I just kill her and get it over with?" Instead of raising his knife, Mado raised his quinque, pointing the end at Jade's stomach. Without another word, he thrust it down. Jade choked on her breath and struggled to even whimper. Mado broke into hysteria. "We can't risk her having your monster children, now can we?"

Keirebu had bled too much by now to have strength. He simply cried in silence. His mind screamed and wailed, his mouth merely gaped open.

"And now, to you and your putrid fiancée, I say die." Mado lifted Jade into the air, her legs swinging frantically. Mado slid more of his quinque through Jade's open stomach, then looped the end from her back straight through her heart. The wriggling tip of the quinque came splitting out the front of Jade's chest with a punctured heart on the end and a splash of blood. Jade tried to scream, but could only wheeze as her very last breath left her lungs. She went limp, her legs going still.

Keirebu moaned, tears running down his face. He could do nothing but watch. He watched as Mado tossed her limp body aside. He heard bones crunch as her corpse fled into the dark. He watched Mado strut over to where he lay, kneeling above him the same way he did with Jade. "Oh, buck up boy," he scoffed. "Now you have all the more reason to die here too." Mado pat Keirebu's cheek, then stood and left without saying anything more. Keirebu let go of his will to live in that moment, passing out.

* * *

He awoke once again in darkness. His wounds had healed, but his clothes remained soaked in blood. "Jade?" He called into the dark. He did not want to believe she was dead.

No response. Not even rainfall.

Shakily, Keirebu rose to his feet. He followed a trail of dripped blood into the darkness at the other end of the underpass. As his eyes adjusted to the lack of light, a figure revealed itself at the wall across from him. Keirebu's lip quivered and his eyes clouded with more tears. He trudged toward the crumpled body. When he saw the face on the body, he collapsed to his knees. It was her.

He did not know if anyone could hear his wailing. He did not care. The young ghoul crawled up to the corpse of his beloved, scooping her into his arms. Her eyes were locked open, her jaw broken and wide. Her skin was pale. Even her steely blue eyes seemed to have lost their colour. Keirebu did not dare gaze down at the hole in her chest. He simply clenched his eyes shut and placed his forehead on hers, continuing to cry out in agony and misery.

He refused to move for hours. By the time he opened his eyes again, the sun had begun to rise. He used much of his time in solitude to think. One thing was abundantly clear: Mado had to die. And Keirebu had to be a part of his death.


	10. ONE-SHOT - Touka

*A/N – Hey friends! Look who's decided to rear their head again. That's right, it's me. After reading Volume 8 of the original TG manga, I felt a strong desire to write a one-shot chapter on Touka, and her feelings after Kaneki left Anteiku. It won't be any longer than a normal chapter at the very most, but hopefully it turns out okay. Also, since I plan to release this on Halloween, please excuse me for not adding horror elements. On a similar note, I'm surprised there hasn't been more Tokyo Ghoul inspired horror circulating around the community. You'd think there would be at least some in a show about freaky, superhuman cannibals. But I digress, so I'll just let you get into the section. Enjoy!*

* * *

TOUKA

She could not accept it. She could barely understand it. Why would he save her and take the time to care for her if he was just going to leave? _He's gotten ever dumber…_

Touka Kirishima, a young woman of eighteen, lay alone in her bed. Earlier in the night she had been protected from death by one of her friends. He decided not to come back home with her and the rest of their friends. She used to think of him as a helpless, lost soul. Now he was different, and not completely for the better. His hair had changed, his face had become dark, and his personality especially had been almost totally altered. He almost was not himself at all. Yet at the same time, this new him felt so genuine it made Touka feel his old self may have been an elaborate dream.

Someone knocked on her door. "No," she snapped. "Whoever you are, don't."

"I have coffee," Hinami called from behind the door.

Touka groaned quietly. As much as she loved Hinami, she had not desire to talk to anyone right now. "Bring it in, but I don't feel like talking."

The door clicked and creaked open. Hinami stood timidly in the opening, tiptoeing in and placing the steaming cup of coffee on Touka's desk. She turned around to leave, but hesitated. "He'll come back, won't he?"

Touka flinched. "I… I don't know." There was little more she could say. She did not want to say more.

Hinami sighed. Without another word, she stepped out of the room and shut the door behind her. Touka was left on her own again. She should have said more to Hinami. _There'll be time for that later,_ she reasoned with herself. _She'll be fine._

Touka huffed and sat up. There was a bitter taste in her mouth, the taste of emptiness. Her brother nearly killed her tonight, he almost got killed by Kaneki, and just as she had been before Kaneki came into her life, she was without a brother. Nobody to turn to.

She was not an idiot, but she still had hope things might return to normal at some point. She hoped Kaneki was not gone forever. _Why am I so fixed on him? He's just a guy._ Touka trued to shake the thoughts of the young man from her head, to no avail. She decided to finally sleep when her eyes shut on their own. Maybe her dreams would be better than her reality.

In her dreams, she stood on a bridge over a busy street. The sun had begun to set. Her breath plumed out in front of her in a cloud of steam. And Kaneki stood across from her, eyepatch over his right eye and white hair covering his forehead. She was glad to see him, but angered as well.

Kaneki stood there, unmoving and unblinking. He looked steely, but as if he could break down as well. He sighed. Touka smiled lightly, but quickly wiped the expression from her face. She was bitter about past events, she would not let go of that so easily. She was still happy to see him. She took a step forward. Kaneki stayed where he was. As she continued to move forward, the colours of the scene faded, and everything went dark.

Touka awoke to the first light of dawn. She cracked her eyes open, glancing around the room absently. It was still a bit dark. The sleep in her eyes made everything blurred and blended together. After a few blinks, things began to retake shape. The mug of coffee Hinami had brought in still sat on Touka's desk, untouched. Touka felt cold. She turned her eyes down and noticed she had slept in her clothes from last night. They were caked in dried blood and felt damp to the touch. _Damn shame, I loved this outfit._

Touka forced herself to get out of bed and change. The floor was freezing, but she braved the cold as she stripped down and tossed her old clothes aside. Pulling on a baggy tee shirt and a pair of shorts, she placed her bloodied clothes in a hamper and curled back onto her bed. _That feels better already._ Now the only issue was the hole in her heart.

 _He'll come back,_ she reasoned. _He has to. But then again, why would he? I was always such a jerk that maybe he just wants to be done with me. But maybe Hinami will be reason enough for him?_ She sighed deeply, all these ideas filling her head. _Just as long as I get to see him one more time. Maybe then I'll do right by him. I just hope my good judgement does right by me too._

Touka would have normally gone downstairs and made herself coffee if she woke up so early, but her head was so full she thought there would be no room for coffee anyway. _At least I'm not hungry, I guess…_

* * *

*A/N – Thank you once again for reading thus far! Chapter 8 is in progress and on the way. Stay tuned for new developments, and some events to move the plot forward!*


	11. Chapter 8 - Old

*A/N - Hey everyone! I apologize deeply for the delay on this chapter. I actually ended up scrapping what I had at first and rewriting the story. I think it paid off, and I hope you do too. Also, two things: First of all, as of January 18th, we hit the 1 year anniversary of my AU! *Balloons fall from the ceiling and noisemakers toot* Thanks to everyone who's enjoyed the story and given me feedback. I appreciate it all very much. And second, I have started streaming my writing sessions on Twitch. Come say hey sometime and keep it locked on my social media pages to find out when I'm live! Now without further ado or wait, I give you: Chapter 8!*

PRESENT

AMON

As Amon slipped in and out of consciousness, a muffled voice made it to his ears. "He put up a bigger fight than..."

Something had brought him into someone else's custody. He was on a hospital gurney, or he thought he was. He turned his eyes as much as he could to his right. Brushed steel rails fenced him in. He stirred, but was unable to shake himself into being alert. Instead he went limp.

"… hope the procedure works out…" Another voice, different from the one before, passed to his foggy head. _Procedure_? Amon repeated the word in his head, as if it would help him process the information better.

The first voice chimed in again, a few minutes later. "His heart rate's increasing." Through his unconscious fog, the faint touch of a hand gripped his forearm. He forced his eyes open and glanced as far over as he could with his head stuck in one place. Above him stood a man in a lab coat and surgical mask. His sunken eyes were fiery, full of determination: it was the kind of determination which made Amon worry. He tried to get his arms under him to push himself up. He was fully restrained. He did not budge. The doctor above him shoved Amon into the gurney, doing his best to suppress the struggling. "Keep still, Koutarou. There's no need to make this harder for yourself."

Amon continued to struggle, thrashing his shoulders and fighting the masked man's overpowering grip. He screamed, tried to tell them to let him go, but it came out as blends of sounds even he could not understand.

"Give him the anesthesia," the first man ordered the other. The second - out of Amon's sight - reached for a syringe, pulled off the sterile cap, and slid the needle into Amon's back. As the plunger squeezed the syringe's solution into Amon's bloodstream, his spine began to numb. After thirty seconds his whole torso lost feeling. He was totally conscious now and realized who the main person was. He had read a report on the man many times.

"Are we ready to begin?" The fiery-eyed man spoke to his subordinate. He wheeled Amon into an operation gallery. A blinding light shone down into Amon's eyes and he attempted to squint through the anesthetic.

The second person nodded. "Are you ready, Dr. Kanou?"

Kanou grinned through his face mask, glancing down to the incapacitated Amon. "I am. Let's begin." Kanou reached above himself and pulled a monitor into Amon's line of sight. It flickered to life, and on the screen was a full view of the investigator's restrained body, the doctor, and his assistant. Amon tried to look away, but the monitor filled his entire view. He could not escape watching himself get sliced apart.

Amon watched in horror as the deranged doctor raised a scalpel to the floodlight. After examining the edge, he brought it down to Amon's upper back and dug in. He dragged the blade deep through Amon's skin. His flesh gave way under the scalpel. He attempted to shift to relieve his discomfort. This must have been a way for Kanou to break down his victims. He would not let himself break. He clenched his eyes shut and focused on his breathing. The scalpel plunged into his flesh over, and over, and over again. Without seeing what was going on, it felt like Kanou was stabbing Amon for his own enjoyment rather than making precise incisions.

"Come now, young man." Kanou clenched Amon's head tight. Amon clenched his eyes shut tighter. "You need to be watching! The procedure won't be complete unless you see every detail." The doctor let go of the investigator's head, walked away, and returned to force Amon's eyelids apart, holding them wide open with surgical tape.

Amon knew he could not avoid seeing himself in that monitor, so instead of trying to look away he changed his mental focus. "I know who you are," he told the doctor. "The CCG has a full report on you, Akihiro Kanou."

The doctor hummed. "Is that so? And what did the reports say about me, Amon Koutarou?"

"They say you're a misguided freak who likes to play God." The young man's lip curled into a snarl. "Some theories even suggest you were the one who turned Ken Kaneki into a ghoul."

Kanou hummed again, a grin creeping onto his face. "Oh good, they haven't found out yet." He stepped out of the camera's view for a few seconds and returned with a peculiar looking organ in his latex-protected hand. After noticing Amon squinting and trying to focus on the hunk of flesh, Kanou brought it almost directly in front of the patient's face. "You may recognize this as a kakuhou. Lucky you, it's yours now. I won't imagine you getting used to it anytime soon, but I suppose that would be your problem."

The smell was overpowering. By no means was this kakuhou rotten or old, but the preservatives used on the organ had an intense odour. Based on where Kanou had cut into Amon, this was supposed to be an Ukaku – the fast, quick-draining type – The opposite of Amon's usual fighting style. "You're cruel to force this onto me, but to give me a kagune I'll barely be proficient with?"

"All the better to torture with." Kanou gestured with one hand to his assistant, who flicked on classical music and retrieved an eye dropper. "Are your eyes feeling dry, Koutarou?" To this, Amon had no response. If the doctor wanted anything to happen to his patient, he would make it happen himself. Kanou snapped his fingers, and his assistant rushed over to drop liquid on Amon's eyes. He felt the relief instantly, but did not dare make it obvious. He felt it would encourage the doctor to 'ration' the drops more.

"Dr. Kanou," Amon began with deep breaths, "do you really plan to turn me into a ghoul?"

"That is my plan, yes." Kanou grew a smile. "I do hope the procedure is a success. It would be a shame if you became a Floppy."

"A 'Floppy'?"

"Yes, essentially a failure. Seeing as you have never failed with anything else in your life, or so it would seem given your cocky attitude, I would hate for me to cause the first failure."

Kanou's words cut almost as deep as his scalpel. Amon always chastised himself for being a failure to begin with, so for Kanou to jab at Amon in this way was insulting. "You think you know me," he grunted.

"In the end, people are all the same. We all break one way or another. So even if I don't make you a failure, at least I can say I broke you."

Amon frowned. "You won't do it," he told the doctor.

"Yes, I think will." Kanou happily continued his work. He moved on to stitching the foreign organ into Amon's back. "I can only hope the blood vessels will maintain their connection after this is all through."

"And if they don't?" Amon was, admittedly, somewhat curious. As morbid as it was to be fascinated by an atrocity like this, it could help to know more for when he would return to the CCG.

Kanou chuckled. "Then you must live with a lump in your back for the rest of your life that does nothing good, nor bad."

"What if this does work?"

"You have a chance to become a one-eyed ghoul, like that Kaneki you mentioned." Kanou ran another stitch through Amon's limp muscles. "My finest work, that one. Truly miraculous."

 _So he did perform that operation…_ Amon considered potential motives, but came up with nothing, so he asked. "Why did you do that to Kaneki? Why are you doing this to me? It has to be for more than just pleasure or torture."

"To break the cage that is this world." Kanou spoke so nonchalantly, it was unnerving. Kanou stopped his explanation there. He may have thought it was enough. Amon just lay puzzled. He would deduce Kanou's meaning later.

"I'm surprised, Kotarou." Kanou spoke melodically as he continued his work, his thoughts and movements being driven by the music he listened to. "Most of my subject would be broken right now."

Amon, through gritted teeth, responded slowly and carefully, as if he was afraid he would trip on his words. "I am… not like your other… subjects."

The doctor grinned. "Oh, but what's that? Is your sanity betraying you? Are you starting to lose it after all?"

Amon had no reply. By this point, it would become more and more difficult to hide his true mindset. _If this is how it should be, I guess I can't hold back._ _I'll show him I'm fighting._

"Oh, I knew I could break you in time," Kanou cheered. The pace of his hands quickened. He was eager to move on to whatever came next. At this point, Amon would be glad to move on. "Don't you worry, I'll make sure you're never the same."

"Even with the tumor," Amon remarked, "I'm already… pretty damn different."

"Yes, I suppose you are. But just you wait. The anesthetic is about to wear off. I thought I would give you a bit of relaxation before we venture into the storm."

Kanou had to be lying. He would not dare! Would he? And was that… irritation he felt every time the sewing needle pricked into him? Maybe he was telling the truth… "I can brave it."

The doctor snorted. "Are you sure? Many have thought so, but I get through to them eventually."

Kanou was not lying. The anesthetic was wearing off after all. If this kept up, Amon may actually have a reason to be worried. "What… made you so sadistic?" He asked, still attempting to hold onto himself.

"I would argue there's nothing wrong with me. After all, this world is corrupt." With the anesthetic nearly gone, Amon did not need the monitor directly in front of his face to tell when and where he was being stitched. "From the fact that you joined the CCG in the first, you must agree with me on that. In some sense, at least."

Amon knew Kanou had a point. He hated to admit it, but he did. "You really think you're fixing this world with what you're doing?"

"I don't think I'm fixing it," the doctor expressed. "I know I am. And if all goes well, you will be my crowning jewel. You may even surpass the progress Kaneki has made." He placed the last stitch into Amon's flesh and cut his thread. He hummed. "Magnificent…" Amon relaxed his tensed muscles. After the anesthetic wore off, he neglected to pay attention when his muscles locked up. The blood rushed back to his upper body. Something as little as getting responses from his nerves gave him more joy than he thought possible.

"I regret to do this, Kotarou, but I need to put you out for the time being. You've been a wonderful patient so far. Please bear with me while I finish up." Kanou gestured once more to his assistant. The person nodded and retrieved a face mask and slipped it over Amon's face. He faded back into unconsciousness.

* * *

Amon awoke in a cold sweat. He thrust himself up from his bed, panting heavily. As he looked around, it took him a moment to realize where he was. This was not his home. This was a hospital room. "What the hell…?" His back ached. He reached back to feel where the pain came from, and felt an abnormal lump between his shoulder blades. _Where'd this come from?_

In an instant, the memories from his recent operation came flooding back. He raised his hand to his shoulder blades again and felt an extra patch of grafted skin in the spot where the strange lump was. _That did happen… Where am I now?_

A knock came on Amon's door. He jumped violently. "Who is it?" he called out.

From behind the door, an old, gravelly voice spoke back. "I've come to help with your physical therapy."

Amon felt he could not object so he kept silent. The door opened, and behind it stood Dr. Kanou. "Hopefully you slept well," he said. Amon kept his mouth shut. The doctor stepped closer, holding something behind his back. The investigator tried to peer around his back to see what he had. The doctor turned away before his surprise could be revealed. He continued. "Before your transformation can be complete, we need to strengthen the pathways for your Rc Cells."

Amon sat still, his muscles tense to keep his trembling under control. He was indeed broken that night. It seemed almost too easy. As he sat in place, the doctor revealed what was behind his back. A pair of what looked to be grass clipping scissors, but with a magenta sheen. _Quinque steel,_ Amon realized. He backed up on his mattress. Kanou grinned. "Don't be too scared, Kotarou. This will only hurt… a lot."

The investigator, once almost fearless, now more cowardly than he thought possible, shrunk into the wall behind him and curled into a ball. "Don't-" he spoke, his voice thick with anxiety. "You can't!"

"Can't I thought?" The doctor approached Amon carefully, making sure his kagune would not manifest itself too early. He opened the clippers and took a firm grasp of Amon's bare leg below the knee. The next moment, he clamped the blades down onto each other. Amon's leg split away from his body. He screamed in agony. "Oh, hush." The doctor had no remorse. He did the same action with Amon's other leg. Amon released another scream. Kanou shivered with delight. "Your screams may be throwing me off, but they're fantastic."

Amon cursed and roared all he could, his vocal chords quickly feeling raw. "You're a freak!" He screamed.

"If being a freak means changing the world, I'll be a freak." Kanou next moved on to each individual finger on Amon's hands, snipping them off one by one. They began to regenerate mere seconds later. "You've already shown spectacular regeneration capabilities. I am truly impressed." After the fingers were fully reformed, the doctor chopped off Amon's arms at the shoulders. All the while, Amon continued to scream and stare in terror at his own limbs, removed from his body. Not to mention the new ones that came in the old one's places.

Even with how scarred Amon was now, he held on to whatever sanity he could find in the recesses of his brain. His life, his successes, Akira. _I'm sorry, Akira,_ he expressed to himself. He wished she could hear him.

From outside the room, a gunshot broke through the screams. A female voice shouted out. "Everyone on the ground! Commission of Counter-Ghoul business!"

A shout of anger came after the declaration, but was silenced half-way through. "Hostiles in the area, stay alert." The voice sounded familiar to Amon. It was feminine, but powerful and authoritative. He shouted out to the source of the voice. "Akira! I'm here!"

"Amon!?" She called back. "Third floor. Keep an eye out, but get up to him and move to assist."

Kanou cursed under his breath. "How did they find me…?" From under his draping lab coat he retrieved a pistol and cocked it.

"It's Kanou! He's armed!" Amon attempted to stand, but his legs were taking longer to come back than his fingers. He stayed put. Kanou rushed out of the room and aimed downward off what seemed to be a balcony. He fired three shots. A thump of someone hitting the ground.

Akira cursed. "Neutralize him now!" A few calls of confirmation from other officers. Kanou shouted out as a bullet planted itself in his leg. He knelt on the floor and clutched his bleeding leg. "Akihiro Kanou, you are under arrest by order of the CCG. You have the right to remain silent." One of the officers locked Kanou's hands into cuffs as Akira rushed into Amon's room. She froze at what sat in front of her. "Amon… Oh my…" She did not finish. She shook her head, her eyes bulging.

"Akira, I'm sorry… He did this to me."


	12. Chapter 9 - Old

AMON

His arms regrew before his eyes. The flesh extended from the stumps of his shoulders, tiny hands and fingers sprouting on the ends. Akira stared at the floor of the armored van they rode in. A pair 3rd Class Investigators in body armor took glances at Amon every minute, darting their eyes away when his gaze would meet theirs. He tried to make conversation, lighten the mood, but everyone kept to themselves. To make matters worse, whenever he spoke Amon felt the need to throw up.

The lack of windows on the van disoriented Amon. He figured they would head back to the CCG main office, if he recalled correctly where Kanou's secret facility was located. He forced himself to speak, "What happens now?"

Akira hesitated. The men at the other end of the van gave each other wide-eyed looks. "I don't know…" Akira admitted. "Odds are you'll be brought to the Chairman for testimonials. And you might be held captive until we can tell if you're a threat or not."

"A threat?" Amon breathed. "Akira, I don't know exactly what he did to me, but I'm not a threat. Never have been, never will be."

"I…" Akira let out a deep sigh. "I just don't know."

The pair kept silent for the rest of the ride. As the van came to a stop, Amon had one more question: "How long was I gone?"

"Three months."

His head sunk in defeat and anger. The doors on the back of the vehicle swung open. An armed investigator gestured for Amon to come out first. "Hands where we can see them."

He saw no reason to comply, but had no real intention not to. He raised his almost completely formed hands over his head and exited the vehicle.

"The Chairman Washuu has already been informed of your arrival. He will be waiting inside." The investigator who was no doubt a subordinate by rank gave him the order to enter the building in front of them – the CCG main office in the 1st Ward. The tower cast a long shadow over the surrounding buildings and the people out front. Amon followed orders and trudged up the front steps, into the entryway. Sure enough, Tsuneyoshi Washuu waited inside.

"Amon Koutarou," he said. "You have been gone a long time."

"So I've heard, Mr. Chairman." Amon kept his face stern. He could not show how broken he was.

The man in front of the investigator looked to be at least twice Amon's age, and no doubt had three times the wisdom. His hair and beard reached to his lower and chest respectively. He turned and gestured to Amon. "Come with me. We have much to discuss."

Upstairs by fifty floors, Amon and Tsuneyoshi sat across from each other in the chairman's private office. With only a desk between them, Amon could not help but wonder if the chairman felt vulnerable. He had to already know what Amon had become. "So, I heard you got yourself in a bit of trouble." The chairman sipped a cup of tea, his eyes never leaving the young man across from him.

Amon hesitated. "Yes, sir. I… have hear I have been gone for a few months."

"That would be correct," Washuu told him frankly. "And assuming from your appearance, you have been tortured – changed, even."

The young man grimaced. He could say nothing.

"I cannot say I have experienced the changing of a man to a ghoul before. What do you remember from the last three months?"

Amon strained to recall as much as he could. "I… I remember being on patrol in the thirteenth ward before I went dark. I was with 2nd Class Bajikku at the time, wasn't I?"

Tsuneyoshi simply nodded. "And afterwards? When you awoke?"

"I have no idea how long afterwards that was, but what I can remember…" Images flashed through Amon's mind. The monitors, the surgical tape keeping his eyes open…

The kakuhou.

"I was operated on. I would conclude Akihiro Kanou was hoping to turn me into a ghoul and I'm still not entirely sure if he succeeded. He implanted a kakuhou in my back and performed experiments on me." Amon visibly shuddered. He hated to recall those memories. If for no other reason than the disgust they fostered in him for himself.

The chairman took another sip of tea. "I see. So then, you are no longer human?"

"I don't know, Mr. Chairman."

"You don't know? Have you not looked in the mirror since yesterday? Your eye, young man. It has not returned to normal."

Amon reached up to his face, feeling the skin around his left eye. It pulsated and bulged in vein-shaped lines. His eyes opened wide and he hunched over himself, staring at the ground. "He did it…" Panic flooded the young man's thoughts, all the possibilities of what could be done to him now shooting terrified adrenaline into his bloodstream.

"I am truly sorry, Koutarou. But you must leave. You have no place here. You are hereby discharged from the Commission of Counter-Ghoul. You have two days to remove your things from you home office and leave. If you comply, we will not take action to detain you."

"And what if I can't control myself? What then?"

"Then it is only necessary we detain you. You of all people would understand, would you not? With a mentor like Kureo Mado…"

"I am not Kureo Mado. I never have been, and I never will be." Amon stood from his chair. "If you want me to go, then I'll go. But let me leave with honor and respect."

The chairman too stood from his chair. "I suppose it would be the least we can do. I will follow you out."

The two men returned to the main floor. Members of the press and fellow CCG investigators waited at the elevator doors. As soon as they opened, the people bombarded Amon and Chairman Tsuneyoshi with all the questions in the world. Amon kept his head up, his posture straight. A few people backed away at seeing the investigator's eye. The rest crowded in closer.

Amon could pick out each individual person's scent – something he could never do before. He tried to plug his nose, all the different aromas overpowering his senses. Some of them were revolting, like body odor and cheap perfume. Others were… delicious. He darted his gaze to each person whose smell enticed him. They looked like cattle, ready for slaughter. He clenched his eyes shut, forcing himself to focus on escaping the building. Tsuneyoshi directed the investigator outside. The scents passed into his mouth. He could almost taste the flavors which came with each scent. Something shifted in his back. He panicked. He picked up his pace and ran into the street, opening his eyes. Nobody was nearby now, except for the chairman. He followed the young man close behind.

"Koutarou, are you alright?" His scent was the most enticing. Amon's blood red eye flared. From within his back, a wing of crystal shards burst free. They shone deep reds, purples, and oranges. Tsuneyoshi gasped, but he did not falter. He pulled a short blade of ancient Japanese design from his belt – a tanto, as it was known. The chairman took a defensive stance.

In Amon's mind, two parts of him warred for control. One part wanted to kill, wanted to eat. The other wanted to leave, to be alone. The former won over the latter.

Before anyone – Amon, the chairman, the bystanders – had time to react, Amon's kagune shot forward and stabbed precisely through the old man's head. No gasp or shout escaped his lips. He was already dead before the action could be processed.

In an instant, Amon hunched over the old man's corpse and sunk his teeth into the flesh of its shoulder. He pulled free a chunk of muscle and swallowed it whole. His insides flared and he cackled. The flavor exploded in his mouth. He shuddered.

Investigators marched toward the two bodies. They readied their quinques. Amon lurched toward them. He shot shards of glass in their direction and pinned them to the ground. The men and women shrieked. A pair of them broke free of the kagune fragments. They leapt to their feet. Dashing toward Amon, they swung their giant weapons for his legs. The investigator-tuned-ghoul lunged back. He barely escaped their swings. Like with the chairman, Amon thrust his kagune through their heads. Spatters of blood shot from the openings. He threw the limp figures at a trio of approaching soldiers. They crumpled to the ground. Amon regained some sanity and stared at his work. The corpses of already twelve investigators lay at his feet. He shook his head. Could he really be responsible for so much? He let go of the thought and turned on his heels. He bolted away from the scene, his new ghoul limbs carrying him further. The sirens wailed behind him. He did not stop or turn to look. Civilians around him ran in terror, in the direction of the CCG. The red and blue lights from pursuing vehicles intensified.

Lead screamed by his head. He dove to avoid several shots. _Q-bullets. They must be getting desperate._ Amon came to a halt, turning on a dime and continuing down a pitch-dark alley. Officers shouted commands at each other behind him. Car doors flung open and slammed shut. Their boots hammered the ground. Amon continued running. _I need to find somewhere to go,_ he reasoned. Who did he know? Who would take him in? _Nobody._ He considered taking to the rooftops. A helicopter's rotors thumping above him broke that thought.

Amon dipped in and out of alleys and narrow back streets. He shoved through passersby and leapt over cars. _I can't keep this up forever,_ he thought. _Maybe the underground…_ The 24th Ward would offer him safety for a time, something he never would have considered if not for his ghoul nature. He had no idea where to find it, but he would if it meant safety. For now he would see if he could make it to a neighboring ward and break the pursuit. His stamina began to betray him. His breathing became forced and his legs slowed. If nothing else, he would duck into an apartment building. If he was closer to home, he would escape there. Luck was clearly not on his side tonight.

He would make his own luck. Amon spun around and turned into a tunnel leading into the Metro. Reports on the nearby 4th Ward spoke of a mask shop, known to supply ghouls with their masks. _I just hope it's open, and the owner will take me in._ Amon slipped between the closing doors on a train headed for the 4th Ward. As far as he could tell, nobody had followed him. _Maybe luck is on my side after all._

The train came to a stop within the 4th Ward, only three blocks from the supposed location of the mask shop. Civilians gave Amon strange looks as he returned to the surface. Was it his eye, the rip in his clothes, or the fact that he only wore a hospital gown? He shook the idea from his head. Keeping his gaze low, he lurked his way to HySy. CCG investigators had already begun forming roadblocks at main intersections and patrolling the streets. Amon dodged any investigators he came across. He kept in the shadows and back alleys until he reached HySy. The logo prints on the walls told him the store was closed. He knocked on the door anyway. For two minutes, the only response Amon got was the sirens around him. He kept knocking.

While he finished rapping on the door, a groggy voice from inside called out to him. "Alright! I'm coming…" The door creaked open. On the other side stood a ghoul, his black eyes barely standing out in the dim light. His hair swept to one side and shaved on the other, he stared in suspense at Amon. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Do you know who I am?" Amon stepped back from the door, just in case.

"Of course I do. Amon Koutarou, the investigator who had the 20th Ward burnt down?"

The former investigator shook his head. "I'd hardly call it all my fault. Anyway, I don't care what you think of me. I need to hide."

"What makes me think I should trust you?"

Amon stepped forward, exposing his left eye. It continued to pulsate. The young ghoul behind the door gasped. "Holy… Come inside."


	13. Chapter 10 - Old

AMON

The door to HySy shut carefully behind Amon. The man who shut it – at least he looked like a man – locked it tight and gestured for Amon to follow further into the store. He did as he was told, for now. After all, he was in no position to deny help. The young ghoul across from the former investigator spoke, "So, the infamous ghoul investigator becomes a ghoul himself. How poetic."

Amon cracked a tiny half smile. He found no humour in his situation. "So, who are you?"

"My name's Uta." The mask maker opened another door at the back end of the shop and a draft wafted over Koutarou. He stepped through the doorway and climbed a flight of stairs. Uta never left his sight. "I own this mask shop, if that wasn't apparent already." The mask maker stepped ahead of Amon and gave him a smile. The former investigator gave Uta a puzzled look.

"Why did you decide to help me?" Amon asked. He took a quick glance around the room. He stood amid a studio apartment. It was well furnished, had all the amenities someone might need – at least, all the needs of a human.

Uta took a few steps to his left and pressed a button on his coffee machine. "You know, I'm not too sure why. I just got a good feeling, I guess."

Amon nodded slowly. It seemed like a miniscule reason to offer help, but who was he to complain? He moved further into the apartment. Down the lone hall in the room, he could make out the shape of a bathroom. Uta's bed lay conveniently at the far end of the main room. Clothing lay strewn over most open surfaces. "Sorry it's a mess in here," Uta said to him. "I wasn't expecting guests."

Amon found himself chuckling. "No need to apologize. I did barge in on you, didn't I?"

"Like I've never seen before," The mask maker added. "But by the look on your face, you've seen a lot in the last little while."

"You have no idea… If it's all the same to you, I'd rather not describe."

"Not a problem. I don't think I want to know anyway." He returned to his coffee maker, pulling the pot off and grabbing a mug from a cupboard. "Want some coffee?"

Amon raised an eyebrow. "I thought ghouls couldn't have human food."

Uta broke into light laughter. "Shows how much you know! Yeah, ghouls can't eat human food, but for whatever reason we can have coffee." He poured two mugs and set one down in front of Amon.

"Thank you," he said to Uta. He took a whiff of the drink and eyelids fluttered. Even for cheap brew from a coffee maker, the drink smelled better than anything he'd experienced. He was never a big fan of coffee to begin with. But in this moment, he felt his opinion could change. Lifting the cup to his mouth, he sipped a bit of the drink into his mouth. It cascaded with his tongue and sent a shiver down his spine. The bitterness offset a taste of blood from his earlier feast on the chairman. He glanced up from his cup to see Uta smiling again.

"Surprised?

Amon gave a vigorous nod. "I'm guessing no cream or sugar?"

"Well, yes and no. Ghouls have made special sugar cubes for our coffee. It also helps curb hunger pangs if they come up." Uta stood again and returned to his kitchen, retrieving a small pouch from beside the coffee maker. He slipped it open and dropped a couple cubes into Amon's hand. They had a fleshy tint to them, which at first turned him off, but he dropped one tentatively into his coffee anyway. "Trust me, it's good." Uta took a sip of his own coffee, dropping three cubes into the solution.

Amon took another sip of the coffee, now with the 'sugar' cube dissolved. It had a more even flavour than before, much more satisfying to him. "How did ghouls discover they could have coffee? Or even how to make sugar cubes like this?"

"That was long before my time. Wish I'd known who it was. I'd have given them a hug and free mask."

"About that," Amon began. "Why do you make masks for the ghouls? I understand the need to cover identities, but you could sell to so many other people. People who'd use them for good reasons."

Uta scoffed. "Spoken like a Dove. I'm surprised it's never clicked for any of you. It's not like all of us _want_ to kill people. We do it 'cause we _have_ to. Otherwise we die. And we have ambitions too! I know a ghoul who studied harder than any human to get into college, just so she could try to live a normal life. I mean, look at me! I run a mask shop. And I _do_ sell to people who use them for things other than crimes. But _nobody_ is more deserving than the oppressed underdog."

Amon kept his head high. He took the reprimand like a champion. He knew he deserved it, somewhere in his heart. He doubted if it was true, what Uta spouted, but he would judge that later. "I'm sorry I'm so short-sighted," he said simply.

"No, it's fine. Just… Don't act like you know us. You don't."

A silence fell over the room, and both men sipped their coffee. The mask maker broke the silence. "Hey Dove," Uta spoke, "Since you're a ghoul now, and you're surely not going back to the CCG, it'd probably be good if you met a few of your own kind."

"After that talking down you gave me?" Amon frowned. "What do you suggest?"

"A friend of mine owns a ghoul-friendly bar called Helter Skelter. I was planning on going before you showed up. I could lend you some proper clothes and we could get you introduced to the local scene. Plus, maybe then you'd see what I'm talking about."

"I guess I don't have anything better to do."

* * *

Dressed in clothes more casual than Amon had worn in years, he and Uta took a trip into the neighboring 14th Ward. The former investigator felt butterflies fill his stomach as they entered the bar called Helter Skelter. Uta smiled at the patron and the bartender. "Evening everyone. I brought a guest. Take a look."

The lady behind the bar widened her eyes as they met Amon. "Isn't this guy a Dove?"

"Take a closer look. You know, at his eye."

The girl squinted, studying his face, and gasped. Oh, another One-Eye! Hear that?" She called to someone out of sight, possibly in the back room "We found another one of ya! Got a little friend now."

A voice called back from the other end of the bar. "What are talking about now, Itori?" The voice came around the corner. It was from a young man with snow white hair and an eyepatch. He stopped dead in his tracks as his own eyes met Amon's. The investigator's eyes were just as wide. "Well well…"


	14. Chapter 11 - Old

*A/N: Before I begin, I'd just like to thank everyone who's been reading thus far. We've reached ten-thousand reads on this story, and I couldn't be happier! This is a huge milestone for me, and I'm very glad to have some dedicated readers taking time to go through each update and give me their thoughts. Thanks so much everybody! As a slight revamp, and a bit of a celebration, I'll be revising the prologue and the first two chapters to better fit with my changing writing style and skill. Watch closely for the changes in the next month!*

AMON

Both the investigator and the ghoul stood frozen in place, awestruck by their circumstances. Their faces straight, they maintained their distance. "What's a Dove doing in Helter Skelter?"

"I'm not a Dove anymore. Did you not _just_ hear?" Amon took a threatening step forward. Kaneki kept his footing, his face firm. Both men stood inches apart once Amon stopped. "I'm one of you now." The investigator's ghoul eye pulsed.

"I don't care what you think, Dove." Kaneki shot Amon a death glare, releasing his kagune and wrapping it around Amon's torso. The tendril squeezed, and Amon choked on his own breath. "You are not one of us. I still don't want to kill you, Koutarou. But if you act like you know us just because you've been changed, I may go back on my word. Do we understand each other?"

Amon returned the young ghoul's glare and gritted his teeth. "I don't think we do. But I'll figure it out."

The kagune wrapped around Amon slithered free. Amon took a relieved breath. Kaneki's iron face replaced itself with a soft smile. "Then welcome to the fold. Itori, could you get Amon a drink? On me."

Amon glanced back to Uta. He shrugged and stifled a chuckle. When Amon turned back to the bar, two glasses of blood red liquid sat on the counter next to each other. Kaneki sat at one of the glasses and gestured politely for Amon to join him. He stepped forward, taking his sweet time and feeling highly apprehensive. When he finally sat down, Kaneki took a sip from his glass. Amon eyed his own glass with suspicion. "Take a sip," Kaneki told him. "You'll like it, I promise." Amon picked up the glass, swirling the crimson drink and sniffing at it. _I suppose I have nothing to lose._ He tipped the drink into his mouth.

The second the fluid touched his tongue, the texture and the flavor washed over him. Thick and metallic, but undeniably delicious. He shook his head, knowing well what he just ingested. "You drink blood like wine. I guess I should've expected that."

Itori snorted. "You're gonna learn a lot more about us pretty quickly, Mr. Dove." She sipped from her own wine glass.

Amon sat hunched over the counter. He let his mind wander as the others in the room conversed. So much had happened over the last week alone. His head swam with fragmented memories and worst-case scenarios. He feared the idea of never going back to his real life. He feared he would never see Akira again, at least not without her trying to kill him. All his favorite foods left the picture, his normal life disappeared, everything replaced with the new reality of being alone forever, in endless suffering. Thoughts of his childhood in the orphanage flooded back to him, the haunting mug of his adoptive father flashing across the back of his eyes. He jolted in his seat.

"Amon," Kaneki began, placing a hand on his back. "You okay? Take a breath."

Amon took shaky breaths. "I'm fine," he said, gripping the edge of the counter.

Kaneki turned to the other patrons. "Get him some water." Itori rushed to a fridge and pulled out a plastic bottle. She tossed it to Kaneki, and he passed it to Amon.

"Thanks," he said. He ripped the cap off and chugged back the bottle's contents. Once finished, he crushed the bottle in his fist and let it drop to the counter. He panted, regaining his composure.

"Panic attack?" Kaneki asked him once he'd calmed.

"Something like that."

"Just you wait. They'll get worse." Itori chuckled, patting Amon on the shoulder. Kaneki shot her a death glare. "What?" She replied. "I'm just going by what you said."

"Stop, Itori. He has enough on his mind to begin with." Kaneki pushed a lock of hair from his face. "It'll be alright, Amon. I can say from experience. You'll be just fine."

"Experience?"

The young man smiled. "Of course. I went through something very much like you have. You of all people know I wasn't always like this."

Amon darted his gaze to Kaneki. _How had I forgotten?_ "I guess you're right…" He shook his head, rubbing his hands together. _I have to ask,_ he told himself. If not now, he feared he would never know. "Kaneki, I need to ask you about something."

Kaneki sat down beside Amon with a carefree smile. "Why I didn't kill you that night?"

Amon nodded.

"I had a feeling you might still be thinking about it." He sighed, rubbing his neck, and grabbed a bottle of blood. "I'll be honest, I'm still not sure myself. I easily could've killed you. But I didn't. I'd murdered plenty by then, that wasn't it. I guess… something told me you needed to stay alive. Like you had something that needed to happen in your life. Hell, maybe this was it." He eyed the bottle in his hand again and set it down. "And something told me you didn't want to kill me either."

Amon gazed off into space. He let Ken's words swim around his mind for a moment before a smirk cracked onto his face. He let himself laugh. "I don't think you understand how good this is for me," he said. "That question has irritated me to no end for so long. Hearing such a response is a relief."

Kaneki smiled. "Hopefully I can make you feel better about that. And this whole… incident, with you going through what you just have."

"I appreciate the thought," Amon admitted. "And… I apologize."

"Apologize?" The young man frowned. "What for?"

"For a few things, actually. For not being more open-minded, for trying to kill you solely based on your species, for judging you and the rest of ghouls. I don't like to admit it, but I've done a lot of things I don't know if I can own up to. Do you think you'll be able to look past that?"

Kaneki again smiled, patting Amon on the back. "I can't promise perfection, but I can say I'll try. I think we all will."

The others in the room reappeared, as if they had gone invisible. Itori smiled and gave Amon a thumbs-up. Uta nodded slowly, seemingly to himself. Strange to Amon, he felt connected to these people somehow. As much as he hated to admit it, he was a ghoul now. He would have to learn to live with that reality, and the new people this reality would put in his path. "Kaneki?"

"Yes, Amon?"

"Do you think…" He hesitated. "Do you think I'd be fine to go back to my own apartment?"

"Would they have your residence on record?"

Amon paused, and nodded in submission.

"Then no. You'll have to find somewhere else to go." Kaneki drank from his glass. "There may be room nearby the new shop… I can check for you."

Amon shook his head. "No, that's fine. I'll find someplace to stay."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I think so. I need some time to myself, to think things over. I may still join you once I'm ready." Amon stood from the bar, taking things slow. "Where can I find you at that point?"

Uta sat up in his booth. "You can always find me at my mask shop during the day," he said.

"And I'll always be somewhere around here," Itori added. She grinned, grabbing the bottle of blood Kaneki had taken from behind the counter.

"As for me," Kaneki continued, "I'll be in the 23rd Ward. You remember where I live?"

Amon frowned. "Vaguely."

The young man slipped his phone from his pocket. "Still have one of your own?"

"Definitely not."

With a frown of his own, Kaneki asked Itori for a pen and paper. She scrambled in her counter for the items and handed them over. He scribbled on the note and ripped off a sheet, handing it to Amon. "Find this address when you're ready. We'll get you settled."

"We?"

"My family, if you feel inclined to call them that." Kaneki smiled. "I should be getting back to them anyway." He slipped his coat off a hanger and departed into the night. "Goodnight, everyone."

The other patrons waved goodbye, and Kaneki shut the door behind himself. Amon stood staring at the door, and Uta stepped up beside him. He wrapped an arm around the stiff investigator. "That wasn't so bad, now was it?"

To his own surprise, Amon found himself shaking his head. He cracked a smile. "No, it wasn't. I appreciate you bringing me here, Uta."

"Anytime," he replied. "And keep the clothes. They suit you."

The investigator thanked Uta. He slipped out of Uta's embrace and made way to the front door. "I should be going too. Wish me luck out there."

With a smile from both Uta and Itori and a wave goodbye, Amon stepped outside into the cold of night. The air bit him more than usual. "This is how it has to be," he told himself. With a sigh, he ventured into the night in search of shelter under a bridge.


	15. The Triumphant Return

The legendary author is back...

Hey everyone! It's been a darn long time, hasn't it? Well, guess what. I'm back from Japan! I realize it's way earlier than I anticipated, but that's just the way things go. So now I'm back, and I'm ready to get back to work for all of you! I even have a brand new direction I plan to take with this story, getting into the action faster and with higher stakes than ever before. Plus, a bonus: I'll be using Japanese in the story! Things like text messages and letters will be written in Japanese with English "subtitles". Having learned a very good amount of Japanese when I was in good ol' Nihon, this will be a way for me to practice and give you guys a fun extra bit of entertainment. The updated chapters will be on their way soon, so stay tuned!

Dromear/C M Badiuk


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